Category Archives: Romance

“Mommy Porn”– The Answer for The Desperate Housewife?

I’m taking on a heavy topic today, folks. One that’s serious. Some might say that as a Christian writer I should stay away from such a topic, but I think differently. There’s a growing trend in publishing that can’t be ignored. We’re losing readers, faith-based writers! We need to figure out why and what we can do to encourage readers to pass by the books they’re choosing and choose ours instead. It’s a timeless battle, but one that’s come to the forefront with the emergence of new technologies.

I’m talking desperate housewives– not the TV show, but the real women. The ones who are, according to our society, unhappy and unfulfilled at home. And how do they find happiness and fulfillment? Sex. Just ask any one of the very promiscuous characters on said TV show. Or the studies that show that unhappy homemakers are increasingly turning toward gratification in the form of fiction.

Welcome to the digital age– the age of eBooks, huge increases in self-publishing, and the rapidly growing markets of fan fiction and erotica.

The numbers of straight-to-eBook self-pubbed erotic novels are apparently attracting huge numbers of women, so say the number crunchers.

Why? Because it’s easier for women to hide their “guilty” pleasures now–they can download them straight to the eReader of choice. No more public judgement from cashiers at the bookstore or hiding a saucy cover from curious eyes.

Don’t believe me? Here’s just one of the gazillion articles that’s been published recently about this surge in numbers.

We aren’t talking about light romance here, either. No Nicholas Sparks story where the couple might end up in bed together but the details are left to the imagination. Nope, we’re talking about a serious, descriptive, pornographic novel that leaves very little to the imagination.

But what’s the attraction? Why are women drawn to these stories? It’s not the stellar narrative, because stellar narrative and craft aren’t what these authors are going for.

Take Fifty Shades of Grey for example: Started as Twilight fan fiction. Self-pubbed eBook trilogy. Drew huge numbers. Contracted for world-wide printed and eBook release. Sold movie rights. Considered a phenomenon. Erotic fiction based on some fantasy about a restricted college student and a billionaire with fetish for abusive sexual exploits. Rave reviews from swooning readers, negative reviews from other authors, critics, and industry leaders for lack-luster writing and weaknesses in all areas.

Yeah, I haven’t read these books. I have no desire to do so. But I have read several articles about the books because I’m curious about the label given to them and books like them– Mommy Porn.

According to analysts, women, specifically “mommies” between the ages of 20-45, are eating these books up– using them the same way a man might use porn– to create sexual fantasies.

And since it’s my blog and I can be honest, I have to tell you– this phenomenon really, really disturbs me.

As if we needed more reasons for marriages to fail, for women to feel devalued, for women to forget and ignore the very reasons for which they were created, more reasons to create negative views on what sex is and how it is to be treated in a loving, Christ-centered relationship.

As if the “world” needed more ammunition against the institution of marriage.

As if teens and young people needed more ammunition against the very idea of a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage.

Yeah, I look at this whole phenomenon as an attack on marriage and positive relationships between men and women. Here’s yet another example of how we, as a society, are valuing sex over everything else in a relationship.

It’s been this way since the dawn of time. As a history teacher I can tell you honestly that nothing makes the world go ’round like sex, money, and religion. And sometimes you can combine all three and discover that they are behind some of the world’s greatest events and most powerful people.

It’s a war long waged. And it seems like it’s taking down some of the ones who had been able to avoid it before. Now, thanks to eReaders, any shame is hidden, so more women are indulging.

And what is this indulgence doing?

  • Creating an unrealistic view of sex in a relationship. For a long time, many have argued that romantic fiction creates an unrealistic view of “happily ever after” and actually harms relationships by giving women an unrealistic view of men. Although I don’t agree with that argument, I do think that erotic fiction is dangerous– it gives women a view of sex as completely the opposite of what it should be, as it was created by the Creator.
  • Reinforcing the idea that sex outside of marriage is acceptable, even encouraged. We should be instilling in our young people the idea that sex is perfect within a marriage only, as it was designed. How can we do that when parents (“mommies”) don’t believe it?
  • Encouraging women to “sleep around” to find the right guy. We have enough of this in our society as it is.
  • Encouraging women to believe that they are sex objects before anything else. If “Mr. Right” in the book is only right because of how he performs in the bedroom, something is very, very wrong.
  • Encouraging women to fantasize sexually about someone other than her husband.
  • Opening the door to sexual addictions, no different than an addiction that someone might have to pornographic photographs.
  • Putting the emphasis of the relationship on sex. Again, we have enough of this in our society as it is.

I have more thoughts on this topic which will make themselves known in future posts, like how we as faith-based writers can combat this growing phenomenon, but for now, I want your thoughts.

Share with me: What do you think the “Mommy Porn” phenomenon is about? Why are women drawn to these erotic books? Are housewives really so desperate?

 

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Filed under Marriage, Romance, Writing

What I Won’t Write About

Congratulations to Keli Gwyn!! You are the winner of a copy of A Jane Austen Devotional! Please email me your address asap! 🙂

Religion and politics. Two of my favorite topics.

Really. I could talk about either one all day long. Add some history in there, another of my favorites, and I’ll bore you to tears. 🙂

As those topics are “taboo” in polite conversation, we all know that there are topics that are somewhat “taboo” in the Christian fiction market.

We all have a general understanding of what those are, so I don’t really want to focus on that.

Instead, I want to pose a question to you writers and to you readers.

Writers: What topic/subject/incident will you not write about?

Readers: What topic/subject/incident do you not want to read about?

Let me give you a little context so that you can better answer these questions.

I’m talking about too painful. Too unimaginable. Too uncomfortable to write or read about.

I read a novel some time ago that I really, really disliked. (Don’t worry–said novel and author shall remain nameless.)

It wasn’t that the story was written badly–it was fine. But I didn’t like the story because of the heroine. She was an idiot. She made me angry. She reacted badly in all situations and for the most part, her bad decisions drove the story, but as a reader, I was supposed to accept her bad decisions because she was a Christian seeking God’s will.

Nope.

I read the entire book hoping that there would be a moment of epiphany on the heroine’s part when she realized what a moron she was, but no. Instead it ended with everything working out for her, and someone else getting hurt because of her bad choices.

I was left unsatisfied and angry. And although this book was one in a series, I didn’t bother to read the others, and probably won’t read that author again. I couldn’t see myself in this heroine. I couldn’t identify with her choices or thought process. From page one I just wanted to reach into the story and smack her.

Can you tell it left a bad taste in my mouth?

The reason I disliked it so much is that I was supposed to believe that the heroine was committed and hopelessly in love with her husband, but within pages of her husband’s sudden death (mere weeks in the storyline) she’s already thinking of another man in a romantic way. While she’s pregnant with her dead husband’s baby.

Call me insane, but I have a hard time with this topic. Perhaps it’s because I’m happily married to a wonderful man. I can’t imagine another man evoking the same emotions in me, even if something were to happen to my husband. This is a situation I’ve never faced, and one I hope to never face.

Because of that, I find it very difficult to swallow a character who can fall for another so quickly after the sudden death of a spouse.

I can understand it if time as passed (I’m not specifying how much time, just enough that I can believe it’s possible that emotionally the character is able to move on), but I cannot write a character who’s in a Godly, committed relationship (much like my own) who loses a spouse and is able to move on so quickly.

Do these people exist in real life? Sure.

But I can’t write about it. The idea is one I can’t process in my own life, so I can’t write it organically. Just imagining it is too painful. If I’m going to write from a place of authenticity, I’d have to write about a woman who mourned the loss of her husband for a significant period of time and when rediscovering romance, had to process and pray through the ability to move on. (And again, I hope I never, ever have to face this as a reality!!)

And for now, I have not been inspired to write a story that contains such an incident or plot point.

So now that you have the context…

Share with me: Writers: What topic/subject/incident will you not write about? Readers: What topic/subject/incident do you not want to read about?

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Filed under Romance, Writing

He’s Just a Little Bit Married

I love a good love story.

You should know that about me by now.

Recently I’ve gotten highly involved in the show Once Upon A Time. Love it. Such a fun concept.

Once Upon a Time–Prince Charming married his princess and everyone lived happily ever after. Or not.

If you plan to watch but haven’t yet, skip to the end of this post. Fair warning, faithful readers. OUAT spoilers ahead.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s the premise: fairy tale characters (Snow White, Prince Charming, Rumpelstiltskin, Red Riding Hood, The Huntsman, et al) were cursed by the evil queen and were banished to live in the “real world”, ie, Storybrooke, Maine, where they live boring days with no recollection of their former lives as storybook characters. Until. Until Emma Swan shows up, setting the clock in motion, ending the dictatorial reign of the mayor (the Evil Queen). Emma is important, but I won’t go into detail about her now. This post ain’t about her.

So, now everyone in Storybrooke is acting all crazy, working toward figuring out the truth, and the one thing I want the most–the one thing that drives all of it, in my opinion, is the relationship between Snow White and Prince Charming. In the real world, they are known as Mary Margaret and David. And I want them to figure out they are in love.

Except I don’t.

Cause see, there’s one little problem. In the real world, David (our adorable, sweet Prince Charming) is married. To someone else.

*sigh*

Okay, maybe his marriage is questionable. Like, it might have been “faked” by the mayor to keep David under her control (yeah, yeah, it’s a stretch, but the woman is evil). Regardless, David’s wife, Kathryn, says they’re married, and he believes her. By the way, David was in a coma for a really long time (like, since the moment the fairy tale became reality) and only woke up when Mary Margaret (Snow White, his true love, his wife and mother of his child in the fairy tale world) touched him.

Are you still with me?

Yes, David of Reality is married to Kathryn. Yes, Prince Charming (James) of FairyTaleLand is married to Snow White. And they are the same dude.

Confused? I’m getting to a point, I promise. And it has nothing to do with bigamy.

My point is this: in the real world part of the show, David and Mary Margaret find themselves drawn together, all sorts of inappropriate feelings flying around them, even though he’s married to another woman.

Mary Margaret tries to push him away. She tells him it’s wrong.

He tells Mary Margaret that she’s the only thing that feels right since he’s woken up from his coma.

Then he goes home, to his wife, and says he wants to work it out.

In the most recent episode I watched (I DVR them and tend to watch a week or so after they air. Just don’t have time to keep up!), David thought his wife was pregnant. So he told her he would go to counseling. They would work on their issues because they are “supposed” to be in love.

He tells Mary Margaret that she’s the one. But his character is certainly taking advantage of that marriage bed. 

When he found out his wife wasn’t pregnant, he ended up in a lip-lock with Mary Margaret.

Top: Snow White and James, Prince Charming. Bottom: Mary Margaret and David.

Part of me cheered. Part of me just got mad.

I want the hero and heroine to end up together. I really, really do. But now I’m wondering if David is really the hero.

See, I have this little moral compass inside me that says no matter how much of a shrew his wife is (and she’s really not that bad, just suspicious) or how much he feels “drawn” to Mary Margaret, he’s married. Married. 

It’s not just a piece of paper, folks. It’s a commitment.

The fact that our “hero” tells his wife one thing and allows his feelings to drive him straight into the arms of another woman, well, to be honest, it knocks him off the Prince Charming white horse.

I want to want the hero and heroine to be together, but I can’t. I really, really can’t. Marriage means something to me. It’s sacred. And I’m tired of it being treated like a temporary condition rather than a lifelong vow.

Now, let’s say that in a few episodes we find out that he’s not actually married to Kathryn. Does that make it better? Does it make his behavior okay? He thinks he’s married. For all we know right now, he is.

What if he left his wife? If he left her, would his behavior be acceptable?

David with his wife, Kathryn.

Part of my problem with his character is the back-and-forth wishy-washy “I love you but I’m supposed to be with her” attitude.

I want to say that it’ll be okay. He’s only a little married. But something inside me (darn that moral compass) says nope.

How “married” does he have to be for his behavior to be acceptable?

I felt the same way when I saw the movie Something Borrowed.

I hated every second of that movie. I just couldn’t be cool with the whole “I’m stealing my best friend’s fiance” even though the best friend was not a good person. (Is it a coincidence that Gennifer Goodwin was the star of that movie and she’s the star of Once Upon A Time? Weird. I do think she’s so adorable…) Granted, they weren’t married in the movie, but close enough, I guess.

Should it matter that the woman being cheated on is a less than stellar human being? Is that supposed to make it okay?

It certainly seems to make it easier for society to accept.

But what if that woman was you?

Share with me: How do you feel about romances like this–that start with one of the characters in a marriage? Can you get past the marriage “thing” if the spouse is horrible enough?

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Filed under Romance, Writing