Category Archives: The Christian Walk

To Watch My Son Die

My son came home from school one day recently and told me that a little boy in his class was being mean to him.

I reacted how all mothers would react–I wanted to rush right back into that school and rip that mean little boy’s head off for hurting my baby.

Of course, I didn’t do it.

I’ve always understood the story of the Nativity, but I don’t think I ever really appreciated it until I became a mother.

Suddenly I can relate to Mary as she eagerly anticipated the birth of her first child. The nerves about becoming a mother. The uncertainty of raising a child. The difficulties they’d face financially. The worry over whether or not she’d be able to do it–raise a child according to the laws of God.

And add on top of that all the extras that she and Joseph faced–like raising the Son of God, and as a mother, I can relate to her fears and anxieties.

Mary must have been a strong woman. Granted, she was raising the only kid on earth who never sinned (can you imagine that?? He cleaned his room each time she asked with no arguing!!) 🙂  What a blessing to know that she was following the commandment of God–that she was the one chosen to bring God in man’s form to the world.

Mary must have been a strong woman.

She brought the son of God into the world.

She watched her son die.

Imagine it–watching your baby grow and develop into the son of God, the man that would change the world for all time.  Feel the love Mary felt for her child–the earthly bond between mother and son. The bond between mother and child.

Mary’s instinct must have been to protect him at all costs.

And yet, Mary had to stand by and watch her son as he was tormented, jeered, beaten, scoffed, bruised, and ultimately killed for the sins of all mankind.

I wanted to rip that other kid’s head off just for hurting my son’s feelings. Imagine what Mary wanted to do the day Jesus was crucified.

Imagine her pain. Imagine her torment as she watched all that occurred. Imagine knowing that she’d brought the son of God into the world–knowing that she was part of a bigger plan, yet unable to stop her son’s pain.

Imagine hearing the words, “Here is your mother,” as Jesus spoke them to John. Imagine knowing that even in death, her son was taking care of her.

Just thinking about it brings a pain to my heart so great, that I can’t think of Mary without thinking of my relationships with my own sons.

I know for certain that I could not stand by and watch them die. I would have been fighting, even if it was to beg God for mercy–to change the plan, to come up with something else, to sacrifice someone else’s son on behalf of the world.

But Mary didn’t do that. “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” She responded to the angel who brought the news of her pregnancy. She accepted God’s plan for her, surrendering her life, and the life of her unborn child, completely to the Lord.

In this Christmas season, may we remember Mary’s dedication to serving the Lord, even when it meant enduring the ultimate sacrifice with a mother’s heart–the death of her precious son for the sins of all mankind.

How much of ourselves are we willing to commit to the Lord, no matter the cost?

Share with me: What part of the nativity story touches you the most and why?

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When Hustle & Bustle Becomes Choas and Craziness

This is me (center, big green hat, red bow) with my Victorian caroling group.

I don’t know about you, but for me, the past few weeks have been anything but the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

There’s just too much going on.

My calendar is slam-packed.

My hubby’s calendar is slam-packed.

In the past 11 days, we’ve had ONE–count it–ONE family dinner together, just the four of us.

That’s ridiculous.

The hustle & bustle of the normal holiday season has turned into chaos and craziness, leaving little time for family, friends, and basic responsibilities. (Yes, that’s me admitting that there are currently three loads of laundry waiting to be folded and a kitchen sink full of dishes.)

Yes, I need to slow down. Yes, I need to learn to say no. Yes, I need to lighten my load.

But it’s impossible for me to lighten the load right now, so I’m feeling mighty burnt out instead of mighty full of the joy of the season.

I recently wrote a post on hearing the voice of God, and He’s made it perfectly clear that even in the chaos of life right now, I need to pay attention to how I’m handling it.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

No matter how much hustle or how much bustle I’m dealing with, I’m to do everything in the name of the Lord. Everything.

So I smile (although my smile might be a little weary) and I remember with great joy that there would be no Christmas season without the birth of our blessed Savior.

I will make hustle and bustle, chaos and craziness a blessing to myself, my family, and those around me in the name of the Lord.

Every moment is an opportunity to act and react to my circumstances in the name of the Lord with thanksgiving in my heart.

Share with me: What’s your favorite Christmas carol? (Fact: Carols are songs that relay the news of the birth of Christ, while songs are simply about the Christmas season.)

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Putting Words In God’s Mouth

I’m curious. 

What does God’s voice sound like?

If I had to guess, I think it would be a cross between Morgan Freeman, Charleton Heston, Edward Hermann, Michael Buble or Frank Sinatra, and someone who has a super-deep bass. Someone like the old gospel singer, JD Sumner.

But I don’t really know, because I’ve never heard it.

So when someone says, “God spoke to me,” what does that really mean?

There have only been a few times in my life, and really, I can count them on one hand, when I know that God has been speaking to me in a specific moment.

The rest of the time, I’ve either discerned his “voice” after a lesson He’s wanted me to learn, or via scripture, or based on a recurring theme that seems to pop up in my life, making me aware that He wants me to pay attnetion to something specific.

But sometimes I worry–am I really hearing him, or am I putting words in His mouth?

Have you ever opened the Bible and read a scripture that seemed to directly apply to a situation in your life, or seemed to answer a question you’d been pondering?

Is that God speaking, or is that pure coincidence?

I never want to judge too quickly on that one. I never want to assume that God is speaking to me just because I come across something that seems to answer my question or address my problem, or just because I suddenly have a “feeling”.

We all know that feelings can be fleeting. 

So what do I do in this situation? I pray. 

I pray for discernment. I pray for guidance. I pray that if God is genuinely speaking, that he’ll make it clear so that I’ll have no doubt.

Sometimes He does, and other times I know I’ve tried to put words in His mouth.

I’ve heard people claim that they’ve heard God “speak” to them, and I wonder…did He really?

I certainly can’t judge another person’s relationship with God, but I do know one thing–

You can’t hear God if you aren’t listening.

You can’t hear him if you aren’t being still, taking the opportunity to sit in His presence and develop a relationship so close that when He does speak, you recognize Him immediately.

And you can’t hear Him if you are talking over Him–putting words in His mouth.

But I’ve never “heard” the voice of God, and like many of you, I wish I could.

I yearn for a burning bush that would speak to me, clarifying the things I worry about.

I yearn for a mountain to scale and be in the presence of the Holy One who would blind me with his very countenance.

But I’ll settle for the ways in which I do hear him. They aren’t audible, but they work for me.

My son’s know when their father is calling them. They recognize his voice. They know what he means. They understand his inflection and tone, and they know better than to put words in his mouth.

That’s the kind of relationship I want with my Heavenly Father; one in which I know him so well that recognizing his voice is automatic, instinctive, and equated with a love deeper than my own understanding.

Share with me: How does God speak to you? How do you know it’s Him?

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