Mom-isms That Defy Explanation

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Mother’s Day celebrating your motherhood, or celebrating the one who bore you.

My mom is my best friend. She’s a wonderful grandmother, and an incredible example of a godly lady. I’m thankful to get to celebrate her everyday, not just one Sunday a year.

I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, especially in my teen years, I remember thinking, “When I’m a mom, I’m going to do things so differently…”

And yet here I am, becoming more and more like my own mother with every passing minute.

The difference is that now I celebrate it, because the maturity that comes with motherhood makes me appreciate my mom for everything she is and all that she’s done.

Becoming more and more like my mom is something I love– something I appreciate–something I strive to do.

And like many of you, sometimes I open my mouth to speak and my mom jumps out.

You know what I’m talking about. Those weird mom-isms that sometimes make no sense, but are effective tools for refereeing, disciplining, and explaining life.

You have any of those?

Here’s my personal favorite:

“I’m going to ______ your ______ in about five seconds.” (Insert WHATEVER you like into the blanks as the situation warrants.)

For example:

Kid: Mom, I’m not eating this spinach.

Mom: I’m going to spinach your spinach in about five seconds.


I love it. My mom used to use this phrase all the time with us kids, inserting anything and everything that applied to the moment, especially as a threat when we were acting up.

“I’m going to stink your stink in about five seconds.”

“I’m going to not get a bath your not get a bath in about five seconds.”

“I’m going to homework your homework in about five seconds.”

Yep, makes no sense.

But this phrase, when used in a warning tone, was totally, completely, and wholly effective with the three of us kids. It defies explanation.

And I totally said it the other day to my son.

“I’m going to tired your tired in about five seconds. Get up and finish cleaning the playroom.”

Yep. Open mouth, out jumps mom.

Share with me: What mom-isms have you inherited from your own mother?


Filed under Family, Parenting

20 responses to “Mom-isms That Defy Explanation

  1. Lauren

    Thanks for the literal laugh out loud moment you gave me this morning after reading your blog entry! I find myself saying just about every other day that I’m turning into my mother. I think my favorite mom-ism that my mom said so often was “If you don’t stop crying I’m going to give you something to cry about!” I mean if you want the child to stop crying why would you threaten to make them cry?? I think as moms we just speak out of total frustration and fatigue at times regardless if it makes sense or not! 🙂

  2. Amy Leigh Simpson

    I have taken up something I swore I would never do… First and middle name scolding. Its so silly, but far too easy to do. And of course, as hard as I try to be consistent, occasionally a threat flies out of my mouth that I would have no way of following through with. Like saying, kael archer, if you do that one more time you are going straight to bed…at like 530. Whoops!

  3. Loette Kump

    Wow! Guess I did sound a bit ridiculous at times, huh? Remember the time I told you and Kimberly you were not allowed to breathe each other’s air??????? I think I had about had it at that point! Ya think? Then there was the time I told y’all you could never swim again- ever!!! I remember hearing from my mom, “You’re gonna be pickin’ up your teeth in the back yard in about 5 seconds!” Sounds a tad violent! Your blog today made me tear up as I began reading, but then I burst into laughter!!! Thank you!

  4. Like Amy, I say first and middle names for my boy ALL the time!

    This is a world-wide mom-ism, “Because I said so.” Brogan is at the age where he asks why every other second.

  5. Loved this post, Jennifer! Made me laugh. 🙂

  6. Hello, Jennifer – I saw Katie Ganshert mention your name and how highly she spoke of you, so I thought I’d come on over and check out your blog – this one made me laugh! I have four kiddos, 7 year old girl, 5 year old girl and twin boys who are two years old! I’m always amazed when my mom shows up via my words. I love when I say: “I’ve had it up to here with you!” (Hand positioned somewhere around my forehead). I’m not sure what it means, but I think it’s pretty bad… 🙂 So happy to meet you today!

  7. You are very blessed to have a great mom! My grandmother, the woman who pretty much raised me, died in 08 and I miss her tremendously.
    I say things that my dad said to us all the time! Funny how that happens!

  8. “I’m going to spinach your spinach in about five seconds.”
    Hilarious : )
    I will definitely use this with my son.

  9. bethkvogt

    OK — this post cracked me up!!
    Not sure I can top that one!
    For me it’s not so much what I say — but I do have the “mom” look. I think it’s passed down from generation to generation in my family.

  10. I actually told my 2nd Grade Sunday School class that if I heard they were not good when another parent fills in a few weeks that I would pinch every one of their head’s off.

    Oh and I totally snap and point – AT THE SAME TIME. Just like my mom did

  11. jeanniecampbell

    mom used to tell me, “it’s you and me against the world.” now my own daughter says it back to me in her sweet, childlike tone….and i melt. mom also used to say “here we go loop de loo!” in a singsong voice…..and i totally do that getting in the car to go anywhere with maddy. definitely things she passed down to me.

    you know, i’ve never ever heard of the expression in your post. blank your blank in five seconds. is that southern or just an expression from your family?

    • It’s got to be something my mom just made up. I’ve never heard anyone else ever say it before. 🙂 I think other people are probably grateful that it’s contained to my family. lol.

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