To Find Out or Not to Find Out– That Is the Question

It’s a mere three weeks or so until we get to find out our coming baby’s gender.

I’m super excited, especially because we’ve never found out ahead of time before.

That’s right– both of our boys were surprises.

Most people thought we were crazy– I remember when we told the ultrasound techs and the doctor that we didn’t want to know, they said, “Nobody does that anymore!”

But we did. And it was awesome.

When I was pregnant with my first I waffled a bit between finding out the gender or not, and a woman in the church choir gave me an excellent piece of advice. She said that both of her daughter’s-in-law were expecting at the same time and one found out the gender and one didn’t. The one that found out the gender was showered with clothes. The one that didn’t find out was showered with the practical baby needs she had registered for.

I knew we’d get clothes once the baby was born, but it was the baby “stuff” we desperately needed. So, that helped us in the decision not to find out. And we got a lot of great “stuff” that was a huge help to us.

Of course, everything I bought in preparation for both kids was yellow and green. But that was okay with me. I decorated the nursery in teddy bears, and I have to say, I thought it was precious.

I’m a planner, too, so it’s kind of weird that I was able to be so relaxed about not knowing the gender while I was pregnant.

But there’s something magical about that surprise. It’s one of the few genuine surprises left in life, so I wanted to take advantage of it up until the moment that little one entered the world and the doctor said, “It’s a ….!” Boy, in both cases.

There was nothing more exciting than introducing our little ones to our surprised and excited families.

But this time hubby and I are chomping at the bit to find out if Baby Hale #3 is a boy or a girl as soon as we can.

Is it because there’s a chance we’ll get a daughter? Sure. I think so.

But let me be clear– if God gives us another son, We. are. going. to. be. thrilled!

Boy, girl–it doesn’t matter to us a bit.

This time the planning matters. We have re-arranging of bedrooms to do. We have painting to do. We have some serious planning to do be it boy or girl.

So why do I feel like I’m cheating?

As the day of the ultrasound grows closer, I almost feel like I should just chill out and take advantage of this surprise while I can.

After all, it’s a really, really great surprise!

Share with me: Did you find out the gender of your unborn child(ren) or did you wait? Which do you think is more fun?


Filed under Family, Parenting

16 responses to “To Find Out or Not to Find Out– That Is the Question

  1. So exciting. I did find out the the gender of my son at the ultrasound. I would go crazy not knowing, but that’s a great point about getting the baby basics over clothes!

  2. Laura Anderson

    We did find out. We actually asked them to make a guess at 12 weeks, they did and they were right (he was a proud boy). I wanted to be able to plan and prepare. But keep in mind they are not always right even at the 20 week check, I have a friend that was told she was having girls with both pregnancies and was shocked at delivery to find out both times her girls were actually boys. We kept the name a secret so that we could introduce our baby to friends and family. Not telling the name cut down on the clothes because everyone wants to monogram these days, we still received a ton of practical stuff. In the end all that matters is that there is a healthy happy baby that enters this world.

  3. 1 girl then 2 boys. Then a surprise pregnancy at 39 and because I was “so old”, they sent me to the high risk clinic. I found out at 15 or 16 weeks that it was a boy. My daughter cried for half an hour. I admit I was disappointed. BUT, that boy is almost 10 and is the party of our family.
    He was hitting on teenage girls when he was THREE!!
    My husband and I often say to each other “what would this family be like without him?”

    For me, knowing was a blessing, because it was a surprise to begin with!

  4. Carolyn Bingham

    I found out about both of my boys early during an ultrasound. I cried both times because it was such a fun surprise. Since they are only 13 months apart they are partners in crime. I loved calling them by name while they were still in my belly. I think whether you wait or not it is a fun surprise. You are in such a great position because you know that boys are great and a girl would be a new adventure.

  5. mecjohns

    We found out because I needed to plan his room/bedding. 🙂 At my first shower I did get a lot of clothing and I was worried about not getting the basics that I needed but, thankfully, others were more practical. In fact, my most used gift came from you – the boppy is still used at every feeding and other times – thank you! 🙂 I do think it would be fun to have that suprise though!

  6. It’s going to be a surprise either way, at the ultrasound or at the birth (and I’ve heard of some folks being surprised at both… 😀 ) There’s nothing wrong with finding out now. With my first we didn’t find out, (a girl) with the second we did, and there was something special about being able to call my unborn baby by his name and really get into the mindset of having a ‘him’ that was pretty cool.

  7. I found out all four times! Never regretted it either! Granted, they were all girls… and I gotta say, yellow and green is SO SO SO cute, but there is just something about having a girly room for a little girl!!!! *grin* And you’ll only be showered with clothes if it is a girl… and really? A girl needs to be showered with clothes, HA HA HA!

    I can see how it would be fun to have them hold up your baby and it be that breathless ‘Which is it’ moment. If I had another one (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN) I might go that route the last time just for fun!

  8. Aleesha Valentine

    We found out with Savannah because we, too, had some rearranging and redecorating to do. We lived in a 2-bedroom townhome and the guest bedroom was painted lilac. As pretty as it was, there was no way I could bring a baby boy home to a purple nursery! For me, the pregnancy was surprise enough! Plus, the way I see it, it’s a surprise either way… one way, the surprise is just revealed about 20 weeks before the other!

    I would so love for the Lord to bless you with a precious little girl this time around!

  9. Becky Doughty

    Well, Jennifer, it sounds like you and I are the odd cookies here! I didn’t find out all three times and I loved the “old-school” anticipation. Maybe it was just my OD (oppositional disorder) rearing its quirky and cute (I’m probably the only one who thinks it’s cute…) little head, but I thought it was rather humorous how inconvenient it made it for everyone else NOT knowing, and how willing they were to let me know how much I was inconveniencing them. Tee-hee.

    Either way, really, only God knows who that little life will be, regardless of gender, and the sheer surprise of it all, as Jennifer Major eludes to above, is that God has chosen me (well, actually YOU this time) to take care of this amazing creation of His – what an honor!


  10. First 3 kiddos: surprises.
    Fourth kiddo (who was my totally unexpected surprise blessing): we found out. I was reeling from the shock of a late-in-life pregnancy, so one surprise was enough, thank you very much. We were also having a level 2 ultrasound since my risks were increased, not that it would change anything for us.

  11. I don’t have kids yet, but um…I’m waaaay too much of a planner to not find out. I suppose if I already had a girl and a boy, and was having a third, I might let that be a surprise. Hehe. Still so excited for you!

  12. Amy Leigh Simpson

    I’m a planner. I had to find out. I wanted to know the second I found out I was pregnant, and had that been an option I would have! 🙂

  13. Even if we’d wanted to find out, we couldn’t due to the baby’s position. The doctor said our baby was modest and was keeping the news from us. 🙂 I was certain I was having a boy, even though I really, really wanted a girl. Our gal was born in a German hospital. When the nurse congratulated me on the birth of my daughter, I was sure my translation skills in my post-emergency Cesarean drugged state had failed me. Nope. We have a lovely daughter who just started her senior year of college yesterday. Wow! Where did the years go?

  14. we decided to find out the gender after visiting target and seeing the cute pink aisle and blue aisle…..and what my husband called the “puke aisle” of yellow and green. 🙂

    wishing you the best as you find out….and praying (just to put this out there) that it’s a girl. 🙂

  15. Ganise

    Oh, Jennifer how EXCITING!! My heart is doing leaps right now after hearing this!

    Oh, praise the Lord! What a miracle. I love, love little ones!

    Hopefully you’re feeling a bit better now in the mornings? (I remember you mentioning nauseas and all.. I prayed!)

    Once again, SO happy for you and your famiy!



  16. We did not find out, but since our kids range in age from 26-30, the ultrasound was not as big a deal then. I think I had one ultrasound for the first two, and two for our youngest. It did not even occur to me to ask if we could find out, and the technician didn’t offer any info. We also had two boys to start, and like you, would have been happy either way for number three. Number three turned out to be a girl, so it was a nice extra surprise. She did still wear some of her brothers’ hand me downs, but we bought plenty of pink and girly things too. 🙂

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