Hale and Hearty Words

December 18, 2012 · 11:12 am

Be Born in Me

I don’t think there’s a parent in this country who hasn’t been affected emotionally by the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. I look at those little faces and my heart bleeds.

My husband and I have shed tears together for those lost. We’ve prayed together over it. And we’ve protected our children from the news.

We have a 1st grader. A precious, innocent 6-year-old. So when I think about those parents who will be irrevocably changed this Christmas, I can only beg God for his mercy, and thank him for the grace that he now holds those children in his arms.

This Christmas holds a lot of emotion for me. With my heart hurting for those in need all over the nation, I think of all the senseless violence committed against children every day in this country. All those thousands of abortions come to mind.

I’m carrying a son this holiday season. As I feel him move inside me, I think of Mary and all the emotions she must have felt knowing that the birth of her child was imminent–fear, trepidation, anxiety. Becoming a parent for the first time can be overwhelming. Think about becoming a parent for the first time–to the son of God.

And yet, Mary knew some truths. She would nurture and care for him. She would love him and hold him. And when he became a man, he would change the world. May we all believe that our children have the opportunity to change the world for God through his son.

Perhaps if we can raise godly children who have hearts that desire to share the Gospel, and better yet, make disciples in all nations, we can reach the broken and the lost. We’ll never destroy all of the evil in the world–that’s God’s department– but we can possibly prevent some of these tragedies by showing people how to truly follow a living God.

This song, called Be Born In Me, is from The Story. It’s sung by Francesca Battistelli. It moves my heart every time I hear it.

I’ll hold you in the beginning, you will hold me in the end.

He is the light of the world and he came to save us all. Happy Birthday, Jesus. You are the greatest present we’ve ever received and may you be born in us all.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

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Filed under Just For Fun

Tagged as Be Born In Me, Christmas, Francesca Battistelli, Jesus, Mary, prayer, tragedy

December 13, 2012 · 6:00 am

Keeping Your Naughty Kids on the Nice List

Before we begin, a little housekeeping. Congratulations to Tiffani Hughes! You are the winner of Accidentally Amish by Olivia Newport! Email me asap with your contact info so that you can get your book. Thanks!

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I don’t know about yours, but I think my kids have gone nuts.

Something about twinkling colored lights, Christmas music, and the excitement of Santa on the air has made them turn into…crazy people. And right here at the time of year when they are supposed to be on their “best” behavior!

Several other moms have recently mentioned to me that it seems the number of discipline problems they are facing has gone up lately, too.

Some want to blame excitement. Others want to blame the moon. Still some want to just say “it’s that time of year…”

I think it’s a combination of all those things and more, so I came up with this little list of things we can do as parents to make sure these kids stay on the nice list.

1. Don’t use Santa as a behavior deterrent.

I’ve done it before– said, “Santa is watching you.” But I realized a while back that this is not a good thing to tell them. Why? Because I don’t want my children correcting their behavior just because they want toys. No, I want them to correct their behavior because they are convicted of their sin. That might seem a little deep to you, but raising children is a year-round job, so using Santa as a deterrent is only a temporary fix, and does nothing to correct the heart– where the root of the problem lies. Instead of talking about Santa, my husband and I remind them of our expectations for their behavior and of God’s. We want them to learn to do what’s right because it’s in their hearts, which is part of the Christmas spirit anyway.

2. Don’t give into the idea that punishments can be delayed because “it’s Christmas.”

This is my favorite time of year. I love it. I want to enjoy it and I want my kids to enjoy it. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to get wrapped up in the ambiance of the happiness of the season and slack off on discipline and punishments. We’re all tempted to do it, I know, especially when a child’s punishment impedes on our fun.

I’ll never forget the Christmas when I was about 7 or 8 years old and we celebrated with my grandparents at their house in North Carolina. My sister got this little plastic key-chain, and for some reason, I wanted it. I wasn’t happy with anything else I’d gotten, and my jealousy and covetousness came out u.g.l.y. My mom sent me upstairs, away from the rest of the family. I was banned from Christmas until I could get rid of my jealous heart. It wasn’t until that moment that I understood what jealousy was and how it could be so ugly. When I got myself under control and rejoined Christmas, I had a new perspective of gratefulness for what I had received. My mom took a hard line with me that morning and could easily have let my behavior go because “it was Christmas” and because sending me away from the family celebration wasn’t ideal. It hurt and embarrassed my parents and made for some awkward moments. But it taught me a life-long lesson, one I have never EVER forgotten.

3. Stick to it.

Anyone else like to blur their eyes when looking at the Christmas tree?

If you issue a warning, follow through. Even at Christmas. Even if it means that some of the “Christmas Spirit” is lost from your house temporarily. Children need consistency, even during the holidays.

4. Make sure your kiddos are getting enough sleep.

Just think about how stressed and tired you can get during the holidays–now transfer that to their little bodies! In the hustle and bustle of this busy season, it’s very easy to let naps slide or push back bedtimes. Since lack of sleep can be a direct factor in behavior, make sure your kids are getting enough sleep during this holiday season. A little nap here and there can be good for you, too!

5. Have some fun.

Make memories with your children this year. Enjoy their excitement and the magic of the season by being involved. Don’t let that same old hustle and bustle keep you so busy that you miss opportunities to make life-long memories. After all, you’ll only celebrate this year’s Christmas once! Get messy in the kitchen with some Christmas cookies. Let your kids help wrap the presents and don’t worry that the bows are lopsided and tape is showing. Watch those Christmas specials you’ve outgrown, just because they’re part of your childhood.

Let your kids enjoy the season by seeing the magic and majesty of Christ’s birth in you!

Merry Christmas, all! 🙂

Share with me: What tips can you offer for keeping both kids and parents sane during this holiday season?

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Filed under Parenting

Tagged as behavior, children, Christmas, discipline, parenting

December 10, 2012 · 6:00 am

Lessons I Want My Children to Learn: Commitment

Today’s world makes it really easy to raise a total flake. Promises aren’t worth their weight in salt, and commitment means “I’ll do this until I find something I like better.” People just don’t follow through anymore.

I want to raise the kind of men who believe that their word means something.

The kind of guys from old movies– those who say what they mean and mean what they say and offer a handshake to seal the deal.

When they commit to an event, a group, a job, a person–I want my sons to understand just exactly what that means and how to follow through, if for no other reason than because they said they would.

2012 has been a tough year for some members of our family. Sadly, a couple of close family members are going through divorces, and it has become necessary for us to explain this to our children.

And as our boys grow and interact with more and more children their age who come from broken homes, or they ask questions like “Why is so-and-so not in our family anymore?”, it breaks my heart.

My husband and I have made it an important part of our family mission to have our children understand that while others may get divorced, divorce is painful and it is, in short, simply not an option for us.

We’re faaaaaaaar from being perfect parents, but this past year especially has shown us how important it is to teach our children about commitment, even to each other.

Thankfully I’m married to a man who vowed, even before we were married, that once we said “I do”, that was it– there’s no way out (except murder, he adds jokingly).

My husband comes from a broken home. His parents divorced when he was in college, just before he and I met. Because he was older and able to understand all of the circumstances and choices that led to his parents’ divorce, he was convicted to take his marriage vows seriously in this world where more than 50% of couples, even godly, Christian couples, divorce.

I am so lucky and blessed to be married to him. Even on our most difficult marriage days, I know that the end-game for both of us is to work through any issues instead of simply calling it quits. It’s a very comforting feeling to know that your spouse is in it for the long-haul, no matter what. (And we all know that in a marriage, sometimes that “what” can get a little cray-zay.)

My husband is also a wonderful example of commitment in doing what he says he’s going to do. Even to a fault.

There have been times when he’s sick or busy, but he’ll go out of his way to complete a task, meet with someone, or deliver something if he told someone he would. He’s very much a believer of “my word is my bond.”

Sometimes it drives me nuts because following through on his “word” can be very inconvenient for me, but I wouldn’t change him. I’ve had people tell me, “your husband is the kind of guy I can count on.”

Who wouldn’t be proud of being married to a guy like that?

He’s setting the example for our sons. He’s showing them how to say what you mean and mean what you say. And most of all, he’s a living, breathing example of commitment to his spouse and to his Lord.

We want our sons to be committed to Christ. We want them to understand the seriousness of a daily commitment of walking with the Lord. We want them to know that we realize how difficult it can be to follow through in this world of “do whatever feels good”, yet how rewarding and joyous it is when we hold fast to the Lord.

We want our sons to make commitments that are unwavering because it’s the right thing to do.

So when our kids ask to be put on a sports team, commit to being in a club, make a promise to someone or set a goal for themselves, we want to support them in their follow-through.

This is just one of the lessons we pray will create men of faith and character.

Share with me: Besides your marriage or your Christian walk, what was your biggest commitment of 2012? Did you meet your goal? Will you be committing to anything new in 2013?