Tag Archives: parenting

The Mommy Wars: Who’s Really Winning

Holding Hands

Stay-at-home moms v. Working moms. It’s an ugly battle. It rages in the media, across Facebook pages and in articles written by women who accuse each other of being less-than-women because of their personal choices. It’s a battle filled with venom-laced words, accusatory tones and emotional tirades.

I’ve been the victim before. I’m sure you have, too.

Moms. Stop it.

Stop it right now.

This “Mommy War” business has to end. Mostly because no one is winning and no one ever will. Satan is winning.

For too long now we’ve pitted our sides against each other, ignoring the sisterhood of mothering that binds us, strutting around with our “to do” lists hanging out of our over-sized bags, judging each other based on who can accomplish the most tasks.

Well accomplishing tasks has nothing to do with mothering.

Nothing at all.

Working moms can be terrible mothers. Stay-at-home moms can be terrible mothers.

Working moms can be amazing mothers. Stay-at-home moms can be amazing mothers.

So why are we intent on abusing each other verbally and emotionally because of what we DO?

Why not instead lift each other up because of who we ARE?

Because we are too busy listening to The Deceiver who tells us that in order to be fulfilled we must find happiness.

So he robs us of the joy that we have in our family, our situations, our lives in the moment. Instead this Deceiver forces us to acknowledge what we don’t have instead of what we do. He tells us that the focus of our lives is perfection that can be attained—we can have it all and that getting it will bring us happiness. He tells us that our lives are not for living, instead they are for achieving. We must do more, accomplish more, make more.

But what if we could just be more?  Woman Walking

What if, no matter our “profession,” our time, talents, and energies went into glorifying God in every moment of every day?

What if we stopped looking at the “to do” list of another woman, judging her based on her accomplishments, and focused on ourselves and how we could be more for God?

Who would benefit? Those around us. Our husbands. Our children. Our families. Our co-workers.

Too many times we burn our candle at both ends because we’re too busy trying to please everyone but the One who matters.

What if our candle was lit at both ends to shine a brilliant light for the Only One who has ever lived Perfection?
What if, instead of judging each other because we have a career or stay at home, we held each other accountable for our glorification of God?

The Deceiver would have us believe that we can have it all. That desire is the under-running current of the Mommy Wars.  It’s draining.

What we need, moms, is to be filled. Filled with joy. Filled with love, compassion, and sisterhood. Filled with success and encouragement, filled with desire and motivation.

Want to be fulfilled as a mom? Turn to the Only One who can fill you.

Then share that joy with another woman. Lace your words with encouragement and delight. Motivate another mom today with the happiness that comes from joy in the Lord.

Share with me: What is the most encouraging piece of advice another mom or woman has given you?

 

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Busy Mom? Find Peace In Your Day– Guest Post from Jill Kemerer

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Maybe you’ve survived the infant years, the sticky fingers, the markers on walls, potty training, and basic disciplining. Maybe you’ve even cleared the hurdles of teaching your kids to read and honing their multiplication tables. No matter what stage you’re in, as long as you have kids under your roof, you’re guaranteed to be busy!

Moms need time to just breathe. Every morning I grab my coffee, read the Bible, and spend time in prayer. But I’ve worked another peace-inducer into my life, and it’s possible to do no matter what stage of motherhood you’re in.

I take a walk.

Simple, right?

Wait. I walk alone.

Sure, you can take your kids with you, but that isn’t peace inducing. When you bring them, they chatter, fight, race ahead, and generally interrupt your thoughts.

You need to relax, get a clear head. You need silence.

Suck in the fresh air. Lift your face to the sky. See those clouds? The leaves wiggling on branches? Birds sailing from tree to tree? Snowflakes drifting down? All of this requires you to slow down. To be silent. It opens a space in your heart. Gives you a break from the noise and bustle, even if it’s for three minutes.

When you take the time to find peace in your day, you get an extra sliver of patience. Your hugs last a little longer. Your meals become a little tastier. You feel better. You are better.

Give it a try!

Share with me: How do you find peace in your day?

JillKemererCgroupJill Kemerer writes inspirational romance novels. Coffee fuels her mornings; chocolate, her afternoons. A former electrical engineer, she now enjoys a healthy addiction to magazines, fluffy animals, and her hilarious family. She is a member of ACFW and RWA and MVRWA. Jill is represented by Rachel Kent of Books & Such Literary Agency.

To learn more about Jill, check out her website, stop by her blog, find her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

Heaven knows I’m in a place in the joy of motherhood where I could use a little peace from time to time. Thank you for sharing this wisdom, Jill! You speak truth!

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One Word for 2013– The 6 Months Check-Up

OneWord2013_commit150

Commit.

That’s my word for 2013.

The year is going by quickly– over half gone already. If you’re like me, you find that hard to believe. Something about becoming a parent, or perhaps just growing older, causes time to fly.

So it’s time to evaluate how the word commit has influenced me so far.

I chose the word with the intention of using it to force me to change certain behaviors, adapt to new behaviors, and make me stronger both physically and mentally.

Some of the commitments I made for 2013–

I’ve committed to seeking God with every part of my life. Not that I wasn’t doing this before, but I will thread Jesus into every fiber of my being so tightly that when others look at me, especially my children, they see that my life is nothing without Christ. I am nothing without Him. I’m only held together by Him.

  • My children are eager to learn scripture and read Bible stories. They love talking to, and about, Jesus. This is not of my doing, but I hope it’s partly because we’ve set that example in our home.

I’ve committed to  exercise and health. I will lose all this baby weight, and I will be healthier than I’ve ever been in my life.

  • Because I’m eating healthier, my entire family is eating healthier. We’re not perfect (I refuse to give up chocolate), but I’m thankful that my family appreciates some healthy foods. My boys watch me exercise and I encourage them to join in. Their little bodies being a temple and all– I want them to establish healthy routines early.

I’ve committed to service and teaching. I will serve when God asks.

  • God has opened several doors for me in this area. Not only am I now teaching Sunday school, I will soon be leading a Bible study and re-launching the Women’s Ministry at my church. Big things are happening.

I’ve committed to writing. I will carve out time to write new material. I will be more active in the writing community than I’ve been in the past year.

  • Because I’ve spent the first half of this year either being pregnant or caring for a newborn (he’s three months old already!), I haven’t gotten very far on this one. I have story ideas popping in my head all the time, but I haven’t been able to establish a routine that allows me good writing time– yet. School starts back soon so my oldest 2 will get back to their normal routine and the baby will adapt to our routine. I’m looking forward to carving some writing time in there somewhere. I’m committed to it.

What has inspired me most about this word for 2013 is that along with it comes determination. I can’t “commit” to this word without directing that I will do certain things. It has forced me to do exactly what I’d hoped– change behaviors, make new behaviors routine, and seek out opportunities.

I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year brings.

Share with me: What is your word for 2013? How has it affected your life so far this year? (It’s not too late to choose a word if you don’t already have one!)

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