Why I’m Not Leaving The Church

I read a few posts recently on various blogs from people who were fed up with the organized Church. Overwhelmed, frustrated, and appearing somewhat jaded, they listed their grievances as reasons they were leaving The Church.

They weren’t necessarily giving up their beliefs, and they made no mention of “losing religion”, but instead stated the reasons why they could no longer participate as members of organized Christianity.

I’ve been thinking a lot about those posts. I’ve been thinking about how sad they made me, and how those who are leaving The Church, and the reasons for which they are leaving, only exacerbate the issues that exist within organized Christianity today. So I decided to explore a few of the reasons why I’m staying.

Their reason for leaving: The Church isn’t open to people of all backgrounds and lifestyles.

My reason for staying: It’s true that there are many organized churches under many denominations who don’t welcome people of all races, backgrounds, lifestyles and socioeconomic histories. But I do. I believe the lost are the lost, no matter where you come from. I believe that all people of all skin colors, nationalities, religions, creeds, and backgrounds are welcome at the foot of the cross. I believe our churches need to open their doors to everyone, no matter what. I believe I attend a church that does. So I’m staying. I’m staying so that I can invite people to worship with me. I’m staying so that I can be a part of welcoming them into the body of Christ. I’m staying because if I leave, who, WHO will be the one to let these people know that they are welcome? Who will be the one to smile, shake a hand, encourage, support and minister to someone, anyone, who needs to know Jesus Christ? I’m staying so that I can be one of those who is open-minded about who worships next to me. I’m staying so that I can be a true witness of Christ’s love–the love that is open to all, no matter what. If I don’t, who will?

Their reason for leaving: I don’t like being judged.

My reason for staying: God’s word is true, it’s powerful, and yes, sometimes it steps on our toes. We need God because we aren’t perfect. If we could tweak His word to say whatever we wanted, letting us off the hook for our sins, there would be no need for a perfect, sinless Savior. There’s a real lack of personal responsibility in our society which lends to the belief that we can justify sin by ignoring that it’s sin altogether. But sin is sin, whether we pretend it is or not. The Church isn’t judging when preachers are preaching from the truth of the Word. Instead we are being herded back into the fold, following the Great Shepherd who already paid for our sins with the spotless blood of the Lamb. Leaving The Church to create your own church based on your own interpretation of the Bible might suit temporarily to ease your conscience, but understand that in the end, the truth cannot be ignored. So I’m staying because I’m not perfect and I need a perfect Savior. I’m staying because I know that from time to time, I need to be reminded of my human nature to sin, and I need to be reminded that my sin has been paid for by the One who died for me.

Their reason for leaving: All the people are hypocrites.

My reason for staying: A church is a family. Like our blood families, sometimes we don’t always get along. Sometimes there are those who seem to ruin it for everyone. And sometimes there are those who lie, cheat, steal, etc. But we’re family. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and while we can’t control what someone else says or does, we can combat their negative image of the Church with our own positivity. We can be the beacon–we are the city on the hill. I’m staying because I want to be the positive light. I’m staying because I want those who believe all Church members are hypocrites to look at me and say, “No, not all.”

Their reason for leaving: I’m not being “fed.”

My reason for staying: I’m doing the feeding. Christ commanded us to go and make disciples of all. That commandment implies action. It implies commitment. It implies work. Nowhere does it imply that we are off the hook for doing the leg-work of discipleship. Nowhere does it imply that we are to relax and wait for someone else to “feed” us spiritually. There’s an attitude of service among Christian’s today, but it’s the wrong attitude. We’re waiting to be served instead of realizing that it’s we who should be doing the serving. I know people who have left The Church because there aren’t enough services for them and their families. I know people who church-hop, joining one church and then another because they can’t find a place where they feel like The Church is doing enough for them. That’s such a backward thought process. We’ll never be truly One as a Church unless we are serving, following Christ’s commandment to make disciples. To piggy-back off a president from awhile back, “ask not what your church can do for you, but what you can do for your church.” So I’m staying because I am able to serve, and spiritual nourishment comes through that attitude of working to make disciples of every believer, including myself. I’m staying because through service, I am being served in the body of Christ.

In an effort to keep this from being the longest post ever, I’ll end there for now. 🙂

Share with me: What are your reasons for staying? What are your reasons for leaving?

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Filed under The Christian Walk

Favorites in Threes- Villains, Cheeses, and Superheroes

Just for fun I thought I’d give you a few Friday Favorites in threes. They’re in no particular order, just my top 3 favorites in each category.

Villains: A good villain can make a story perfection. Here are some of my faves.

Maleficent from Sleepy Beauty. Perfectly nasty in all the right ways.

 

Julian Sark from Alias (played by David Anders). A horrible, self-serving criminal all wrapped up in large doses of sarcasm and a faux-British accent. He had some of the best lines on TV and I adored him. I miss this show.

 

Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries (played by Ian Somerhalder). Okay, he’s not always a villain but he definitely let’s his nasty side win out from time to time. Actually, he’s sometimes the hero, but he is the dark side of the coin, the Salvatore lacking a moral compass, the ticking time-bomb. He’s a vampire, so that automatically makes him more villainous, right? Oh, who am I kidding? I just wanted to post his pic.

 

 

Cheeses: Really there’s no cheese I won’t eat. I would have been fine as a peasant, living off a bread and cheese diet.

– Smoked Gouda. Yummy.
– Swiss. On a burger with mushrooms. (My mouth is watering.)
– Provolone. I’ll put it on anything.

 

Superheroes: Can you tell I live in a house full of males?

Superman. I love him because my hubby loves him, and because in the next Superman movie, he’ll be played by one of my favorite actors.

 

Iron Man. Who doesn’t love the snarky, smart-mouthed Tony Stark? Give him a super-suit and he’s way cooler than Batman.

 

Captain America. I can get on board with the patriotism and even the ridiculous mythology behind his creation, especially if they keep letting Chris Evans play him in the movies.

Share with me: What are your favorites in each category? (You can just pick one category if you aren’t feeling up to narrowing down your long list of superheroes.)

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Filed under Just For Fun

“Mommy Porn”– The Answer for The Desperate Housewife?

I’m taking on a heavy topic today, folks. One that’s serious. Some might say that as a Christian writer I should stay away from such a topic, but I think differently. There’s a growing trend in publishing that can’t be ignored. We’re losing readers, faith-based writers! We need to figure out why and what we can do to encourage readers to pass by the books they’re choosing and choose ours instead. It’s a timeless battle, but one that’s come to the forefront with the emergence of new technologies.

I’m talking desperate housewives– not the TV show, but the real women. The ones who are, according to our society, unhappy and unfulfilled at home. And how do they find happiness and fulfillment? Sex. Just ask any one of the very promiscuous characters on said TV show. Or the studies that show that unhappy homemakers are increasingly turning toward gratification in the form of fiction.

Welcome to the digital age– the age of eBooks, huge increases in self-publishing, and the rapidly growing markets of fan fiction and erotica.

The numbers of straight-to-eBook self-pubbed erotic novels are apparently attracting huge numbers of women, so say the number crunchers.

Why? Because it’s easier for women to hide their “guilty” pleasures now–they can download them straight to the eReader of choice. No more public judgement from cashiers at the bookstore or hiding a saucy cover from curious eyes.

Don’t believe me? Here’s just one of the gazillion articles that’s been published recently about this surge in numbers.

We aren’t talking about light romance here, either. No Nicholas Sparks story where the couple might end up in bed together but the details are left to the imagination. Nope, we’re talking about a serious, descriptive, pornographic novel that leaves very little to the imagination.

But what’s the attraction? Why are women drawn to these stories? It’s not the stellar narrative, because stellar narrative and craft aren’t what these authors are going for.

Take Fifty Shades of Grey for example: Started as Twilight fan fiction. Self-pubbed eBook trilogy. Drew huge numbers. Contracted for world-wide printed and eBook release. Sold movie rights. Considered a phenomenon. Erotic fiction based on some fantasy about a restricted college student and a billionaire with fetish for abusive sexual exploits. Rave reviews from swooning readers, negative reviews from other authors, critics, and industry leaders for lack-luster writing and weaknesses in all areas.

Yeah, I haven’t read these books. I have no desire to do so. But I have read several articles about the books because I’m curious about the label given to them and books like them– Mommy Porn.

According to analysts, women, specifically “mommies” between the ages of 20-45, are eating these books up– using them the same way a man might use porn– to create sexual fantasies.

And since it’s my blog and I can be honest, I have to tell you– this phenomenon really, really disturbs me.

As if we needed more reasons for marriages to fail, for women to feel devalued, for women to forget and ignore the very reasons for which they were created, more reasons to create negative views on what sex is and how it is to be treated in a loving, Christ-centered relationship.

As if the “world” needed more ammunition against the institution of marriage.

As if teens and young people needed more ammunition against the very idea of a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage.

Yeah, I look at this whole phenomenon as an attack on marriage and positive relationships between men and women. Here’s yet another example of how we, as a society, are valuing sex over everything else in a relationship.

It’s been this way since the dawn of time. As a history teacher I can tell you honestly that nothing makes the world go ’round like sex, money, and religion. And sometimes you can combine all three and discover that they are behind some of the world’s greatest events and most powerful people.

It’s a war long waged. And it seems like it’s taking down some of the ones who had been able to avoid it before. Now, thanks to eReaders, any shame is hidden, so more women are indulging.

And what is this indulgence doing?

  • Creating an unrealistic view of sex in a relationship. For a long time, many have argued that romantic fiction creates an unrealistic view of “happily ever after” and actually harms relationships by giving women an unrealistic view of men. Although I don’t agree with that argument, I do think that erotic fiction is dangerous– it gives women a view of sex as completely the opposite of what it should be, as it was created by the Creator.
  • Reinforcing the idea that sex outside of marriage is acceptable, even encouraged. We should be instilling in our young people the idea that sex is perfect within a marriage only, as it was designed. How can we do that when parents (“mommies”) don’t believe it?
  • Encouraging women to “sleep around” to find the right guy. We have enough of this in our society as it is.
  • Encouraging women to believe that they are sex objects before anything else. If “Mr. Right” in the book is only right because of how he performs in the bedroom, something is very, very wrong.
  • Encouraging women to fantasize sexually about someone other than her husband.
  • Opening the door to sexual addictions, no different than an addiction that someone might have to pornographic photographs.
  • Putting the emphasis of the relationship on sex. Again, we have enough of this in our society as it is.

I have more thoughts on this topic which will make themselves known in future posts, like how we as faith-based writers can combat this growing phenomenon, but for now, I want your thoughts.

Share with me: What do you think the “Mommy Porn” phenomenon is about? Why are women drawn to these erotic books? Are housewives really so desperate?

 

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Filed under Marriage, Romance, Writing