Category Archives: Just For Fun

July 29, 2011 · 5:00 am

10 Things I’ll Never Live Down- Number Two

So, there was a rocky time in our marriage when I considered leaving my husband. Seriously, before you freak out, read on. There’s a happy ending.

I came from a family of people who liked animals…that lived outside. We were not indoor animal people.

When I met my husband, he told me that he had a cat and that he’d had the cat since he was 11 years old. I didn’t really think anything of it. When I eventually met said cat, Munchie, she was acceptable. She was a black cat with white “sock” paws and was generally nice to me.

But I should have known it was going to get ugly based on the way my man treated this cat. He loved her. Like, loved her enough that he once told me a story about a time he was in college, on a date with a girl (this was before I knew him, of course) and the girl mentioned that her two cats had feline leukemia. Knowing that this disease was airborne, my hubby abruptly told the girl that the date could not continue and he could not see her again. He also offered her money for cab fare. May sound like a jerky thing to do, but he was protecting his cat.

*Sigh*

But the cat was part of the deal. She came with the marriage. I was sort of okay with it because she appeared to be docile, and like most cats, I assumed that she would spend her days out of my way.

And for the most part, she did. In the beginning she would occasionally come and sit with me when I was watching TV, or curl up next to me on the couch when I was reading. But it was a lie.

I think she realized that I was her competition for my husband’s attention.

And that is when the terrorism began.

She would climb up on the bed in the middle of the night and hiss in my face. She would nip at me, and sometimes she drew blood. Even though she was de-clawed, she’d do her best to scratch me and everything else she thought belonged to me. She would “relieve” herself ON.MY.STUFF. One time she “went” in my school bag, all over tests that I had brought home intending to grade. Well, of course, those had to go in the trash and my students were thrilled. And when we moved from our apartment to our house, she began taking care of business all over the place.

My husband tried to help. He took her to the vet and she was given medication to “control” the problem, but I knew this wasn’t a medical issue. She was just evil.

It was me v. the cat. After the 9000th time of dealing with her feline rage, I finally freaked out- like, lost it. In a very undignified, ungodly, unladylike manner. Meanwhile, the cat purred her happy little self against my hubby’s leg. Are you getting the picture?

And then came my ultimatum to my husband. “It’s me or the cat.”

My hubby has never been a fan of my “dramatic streak.” He stared at me for a good ten seconds, not speaking. Then very calmly, he climbed into the attic and got down my suitcase, handed it to me, and offered to help me pack.

And I was defeated.

He did try exceptionally hard to get the cat under control from that day forward, but she was a cat. And she hated me.

She finally died the day after Thanksgiving, 2007. She was 21 years old. And I felt really, really bad for my hubby, but inside, I’m not gonna lie, I had a little party.

And when our “intense fellowship” occasionally gets a little too intense, my husband, in his too-cool-for-school manner will ask, “do I need to get your suitcase down?” It’s great to remember that there are no problems we can’t overcome together. And I’ll never live down that gentle reminder of who actually wears the pants in our relationship.

And we will never, EVER have another cat.

Share with me: Are you an animal person? Has an animal ever caused “strife” in your relationships with family, friends or neighbors? How did you deal with it?

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July 22, 2011 · 5:00 am

Who Murdered Miss Manners?

I’m lost in the sweeping meadows of the countryside of Victorian England while I’m working on one of my historical novels, and as the relationships between my characters play out, I’m thinking a lot about the manners and propriety of that time period (think Austen-esque) and how much things have changed since Jane was writing her much beloved stories.

Chivalry, as we think of it, applies to men. And even though it is gender neutral, we tend to place the burdens of proper etiquette on women.

Some people say chivalry is dead. I hope not. I plan on keeping it alive through my sons.

But what about etiquette? Is it dead?

Etiquette gives guidelines for proper manners and appropriate social behavior with details and events like parties, guests, place settings, thank yous, hostessing, etc…but has Miss Manners gone the way of black and white TV and VCRs?

Do you know your etiquette? I’m mostly posing this question out of my own curiosity.

I’m not just talking about not talking with your mouth full or not putting your elbows on the dinner table, but the proper “rules” for wedding invitations, guests, hostessing, R.S.V.P.s, etc. How many gentlemen still stand when a lady enters a room or excuses herself from a table? Do you require your children to put their napkins in their laps at meals?

I was raised in a household where proper etiquette was taught. I never went to cotillion nor was I actually a debutante, but my mom schooled me in the appropriate and polite points of etiquette that have stuck with me.

So I had a mini charm school in my own house growing up. However, I do not own an etiquette book, and while I practice the basics, I don’t always know all of the nitty-gritty details. (Nor do I usually try to find out.)

For example, when my brother got married, I knew that my mom needed to wait to pick out her dress until the bride’s mother had done so, so that she could make sure she didn’t pick the same color as the bride’s mother. However, I did not know that it is proper etiquette for the length of the bride’s mother’s dress to dictate the length of the groom’s mother’s dress.

I willingly admit that some etiquette rules seem silly. I don’t usually drink my tea with my pinky in the air, but basic etiquette is something I try to practice most of the time.

As I’ve aged, though, I am starting to think that I might be alone in my acknowledgement of etiquette (except for my sister!). The vast majority of people in my age group and younger do not seem to have even the most basic understanding of it, nor do they really care.

It seems that even though (or because) we are in the days of Bridezillas and extravagant weddings via David Tutera, basic etiquette no longer applies.

Is this a bad thing? It is just a sign that times are changing, or are there those out there who still live by these rules? Should we be teaching them to our children? Is learning how to properly set a table a life-skill?

I wonder if young ladies still know the proper rules when addressing wedding invitations, timely thank you notes, or sending wedding gifts. How about setting the table for a nice dinner party or hostessing, or taking hostess gifts? Call me a snob if you must (please don’t), but in my experience, the answer is no.

The one that most annoys me is not acknowledging the common courtesy of the RSVP. Whether it’s hosting events like baby showers, bridal showers, or even my kid’s birthday party, the RSVP is hard to come by.

Even when I include three phone numbers, two email addresses, my Twitter account, my Facebook page, and the required items necessary for sending smoke signals, people still do not RSVP. I’m starting to think that most people don’t even know what RSVP means.

To avoid the lack of RSVPs, I often use “Regrets Only.” That doesn’t work, either.

What about business etiquette? Does it still exist in the corporate world?

I’m not a 100% stickler for etiquette, mind you. I do realize that not all events require the fanciness that etiquette seems to imply. However, proper manners apply in all situations, I think.

Share with me: Is there a difference between etiquette and manners? What are your thoughts on etiquette? Is it just an antiquated way of doing things that has gone the way of the cassette player, or should we still be teaching it? Do you practice etiquette, or are you more relaxed? If you do know the basic rules of etiquette, how did you learn them? Your mom, your grandmother, a book?

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July 15, 2011 · 6:41 am

Say Cheese!

I always have my boys’ photos done in the summer. It’s just easier on our schedules, and since I only have their official portrait made once a year, summer just works out best.

But this year I decided to deviate from the norm. I wanted a family photo, too. We haven’t had a professional family photo taken since before my youngest was born. (I know– I’m horrible). So, I enlisted the services of my very talented and amazing friend, Marion, from Marion’s Photography.

Not only was she going to do a family session, she was going to do some head shots for me so that I’d have some professional photos for my blog, etc. And since my normal go-to photography place is Walmart (don’t judge– I have cute portraits of my boys!), actually scheduling a session with a professional photographer who happens to be a friend was like graduating up to the big time!

The day of our session came and the only thing I prayed for was low humidity.

We started early to try to beat the heat, but even at 8:45am, Georgia thermometers were registering in the 80s, and the humidity was at 8000%. Seriously. We might as well have been in the rainforest. With each minute we were out there, the heat went up one degree.

But my amazing, acrobatic photographer friend worked like a camera wizard, snapping shots as quickly as possible in order to give my hair a fighting chance against the poof that was threatening to take over. And she brought her adorable pre-teen daughter as her assistant who helped keep me smiling.

When my husband and boys showed up for their portion, my eldest son cooperated very well. He smiled for the camera. But for some reason, he takes saying “cheese” literally and his smile for a camera, any camera, is bigger than his face. Hey, it might not be a natural smile, but it’s a smile, so I’ll take it.

But my two year old was another story. He smiled, all right, but he would not look at the camera for anything. Isn’t that they way it always goes?

After several minutes of wrangling them and trying to dance and sing and basically make myself look like an idiot so that my little one would look at the camera, we decided to do the family shot.

By that point my oldest was obsessed with the train tracks nearby and just wanted to play on them.

“Look at the camera,” I’d say through clenched teeth as I held my smile.

“I am, Mom!” my 5 year old would respond as he looked up to my face. *camera click*

“No!!!!” the two year old would squeal as he looked everywhere but at the camera. *camera click*

By this point I was sweating even more, thinking there’s no way there’s gonna be a good family shot in all this. My husband was standing there, staring at the camera, waiting for someone to tell him what to do while I was working my best poses. I learned everything I know from America’s Next Top Model. Marion sweetly directed us into our proper positions. Apparently the “flopped over like a willow tree” pose that I learned from Tyra Banks wasn’t really going to work for a family photo.

Marion was so sweet with my boys, and very, very patient with all of us. Besides her daughter, she has three young boys of her own, so her mommy-skills were definitely helpful. And she understood my vanity in wanting to get a shot in which I didn’t look like I had a poodle on my head, so we worked against the elements. (There would have been less humidity if it had actually been raining.)

And since we were outside, of course the mosquitoes were attacking me. I asked Marion to please Photoshop out the red streaks on my arms from where I was scratching.

Marion then suggested we do some shots on the tracks. Since my boys are train-obsessed, this was a cool idea.

“Now this is the life,” my oldest said when he reached the tracks. I pulled out some toys and they began playing with them while Marion’s camera clicked away.

“Do you think they’ll walk?” Marion asked.

“Sure.” So we told them to walk on the tracks.

But first we had to convince the oldest one that the tracks were not currently being used, and no, a train is not going to “come around the bend” and squish them.

All was well until my 5yo tried to hold the 2yo’s hand. Then the 2yo proceeded to scream and yell, “NO!” He was done. He ran. He fell. He hates dirt on his hands, so now he was obsessed with getting the dirt off, so he wiped them all over his perfectly clean shirt. He looked at me, sweat pouring down his little face, his hair matted to his head and said, “Time to go home.”

My husband, although sweating buckets in the heat, stayed very calm and cool through it all.

At this point, I look like I’ve been swimming, the humidity has turned my hair into its own swamp creature, and I’m begging the kids to stand still for one more shot. And I’m laughing, because I should have known better than to believe that we’d get the boys to sit or stand still and look at the camera.

One shot, I was thinking. All I need is one shot to hang on our wall and show that we really are a happy family.

My two year old threw his hands in the air and screamed, “It’s time to go home!” (As if we didn’t hear him the first time.) Marion did get a shot of that.

What an amazing and talented photographer friend I have. Somehow she used her magical talent and managed to capture memories that I’ll cherish forever. See below! She’s so good that she knew how to make and anticipate the accidents that would look like incredible, planned photos. Maybe I should have just claimed that those were planned shots…

I’ve learned some things from this experience.
1. When your photographer has children the same age as your kids, it certainly helps with compassion and understanding.
2. Even children don’t function well in 8000% humidity.
3. Photographers are part acrobat. Marion was able to get herself into some crazy positions to get the best shot. She’s amazing.
4. Two year olds do not smile on command. I actually knew this before we began, but I had delusions of grandeur.
5. Photographers have amazing minds. They can “see” things that I can’t see and that fascinates me.
6. Next year I won’t book our session in July. I’ll shoot for October. Or perhaps January.

I hope and pray that Marion didn’t laugh her way through editing our shots. I’m afraid our session might look like a blooper reel and that we might end up on one of those “Awkward Family Photo” websites by accident. Hope not.

So here’s my shameless plug. Check out Marion’s website (link above!). If you live in or near west Georgia, and need a fantastic photographer, you should book a session with her. She’s amazing in all ways and God has truly blessed her with talent!