Category Archives: Parenting

July 15, 2011 · 6:41 am

Say Cheese!

I always have my boys’ photos done in the summer. It’s just easier on our schedules, and since I only have their official portrait made once a year, summer just works out best.

But this year I decided to deviate from the norm. I wanted a family photo, too. We haven’t had a professional family photo taken since before my youngest was born. (I know– I’m horrible). So, I enlisted the services of my very talented and amazing friend, Marion, from Marion’s Photography.

Not only was she going to do a family session, she was going to do some head shots for me so that I’d have some professional photos for my blog, etc. And since my normal go-to photography place is Walmart (don’t judge– I have cute portraits of my boys!), actually scheduling a session with a professional photographer who happens to be a friend was like graduating up to the big time!

The day of our session came and the only thing I prayed for was low humidity.

We started early to try to beat the heat, but even at 8:45am, Georgia thermometers were registering in the 80s, and the humidity was at 8000%. Seriously. We might as well have been in the rainforest. With each minute we were out there, the heat went up one degree.

But my amazing, acrobatic photographer friend worked like a camera wizard, snapping shots as quickly as possible in order to give my hair a fighting chance against the poof that was threatening to take over. And she brought her adorable pre-teen daughter as her assistant who helped keep me smiling.

When my husband and boys showed up for their portion, my eldest son cooperated very well. He smiled for the camera. But for some reason, he takes saying “cheese” literally and his smile for a camera, any camera, is bigger than his face. Hey, it might not be a natural smile, but it’s a smile, so I’ll take it.

But my two year old was another story. He smiled, all right, but he would not look at the camera for anything. Isn’t that they way it always goes?

After several minutes of wrangling them and trying to dance and sing and basically make myself look like an idiot so that my little one would look at the camera, we decided to do the family shot.

By that point my oldest was obsessed with the train tracks nearby and just wanted to play on them.

“Look at the camera,” I’d say through clenched teeth as I held my smile.

“I am, Mom!” my 5 year old would respond as he looked up to my face. *camera click*

“No!!!!” the two year old would squeal as he looked everywhere but at the camera. *camera click*

By this point I was sweating even more, thinking there’s no way there’s gonna be a good family shot in all this. My husband was standing there, staring at the camera, waiting for someone to tell him what to do while I was working my best poses. I learned everything I know from America’s Next Top Model. Marion sweetly directed us into our proper positions. Apparently the “flopped over like a willow tree” pose that I learned from Tyra Banks wasn’t really going to work for a family photo.

Marion was so sweet with my boys, and very, very patient with all of us. Besides her daughter, she has three young boys of her own, so her mommy-skills were definitely helpful. And she understood my vanity in wanting to get a shot in which I didn’t look like I had a poodle on my head, so we worked against the elements. (There would have been less humidity if it had actually been raining.)

And since we were outside, of course the mosquitoes were attacking me. I asked Marion to please Photoshop out the red streaks on my arms from where I was scratching.

Marion then suggested we do some shots on the tracks. Since my boys are train-obsessed, this was a cool idea.

“Now this is the life,” my oldest said when he reached the tracks. I pulled out some toys and they began playing with them while Marion’s camera clicked away.

“Do you think they’ll walk?” Marion asked.

“Sure.” So we told them to walk on the tracks.

But first we had to convince the oldest one that the tracks were not currently being used, and no, a train is not going to “come around the bend” and squish them.

All was well until my 5yo tried to hold the 2yo’s hand. Then the 2yo proceeded to scream and yell, “NO!” He was done. He ran. He fell. He hates dirt on his hands, so now he was obsessed with getting the dirt off, so he wiped them all over his perfectly clean shirt. He looked at me, sweat pouring down his little face, his hair matted to his head and said, “Time to go home.”

My husband, although sweating buckets in the heat, stayed very calm and cool through it all.

At this point, I look like I’ve been swimming, the humidity has turned my hair into its own swamp creature, and I’m begging the kids to stand still for one more shot. And I’m laughing, because I should have known better than to believe that we’d get the boys to sit or stand still and look at the camera.

One shot, I was thinking. All I need is one shot to hang on our wall and show that we really are a happy family.

My two year old threw his hands in the air and screamed, “It’s time to go home!” (As if we didn’t hear him the first time.) Marion did get a shot of that.

What an amazing and talented photographer friend I have. Somehow she used her magical talent and managed to capture memories that I’ll cherish forever. See below! She’s so good that she knew how to make and anticipate the accidents that would look like incredible, planned photos. Maybe I should have just claimed that those were planned shots…

I’ve learned some things from this experience.
1. When your photographer has children the same age as your kids, it certainly helps with compassion and understanding.
2. Even children don’t function well in 8000% humidity.
3. Photographers are part acrobat. Marion was able to get herself into some crazy positions to get the best shot. She’s amazing.
4. Two year olds do not smile on command. I actually knew this before we began, but I had delusions of grandeur.
5. Photographers have amazing minds. They can “see” things that I can’t see and that fascinates me.
6. Next year I won’t book our session in July. I’ll shoot for October. Or perhaps January.

I hope and pray that Marion didn’t laugh her way through editing our shots. I’m afraid our session might look like a blooper reel and that we might end up on one of those “Awkward Family Photo” websites by accident. Hope not.

So here’s my shameless plug. Check out Marion’s website (link above!). If you live in or near west Georgia, and need a fantastic photographer, you should book a session with her. She’s amazing in all ways and God has truly blessed her with talent!

Share with me: Do you have any good stories to go along with some of your favorite photos?

4 Comments

Filed under Family, Just For Fun, Parenting

Tagged as Jennifer K. Hale, Marion's Photography, photography, photos

July 8, 2011 · 1:33 pm

I’m Raising Willy Wonka

“Mom, you’re breaking my traction rod!” my 5 year-old son said to me as we walked (okay, more like I pulled him) through the crowd of people leaving a fireworks event on July 4th.

The folks nearby chuckled, but I’m sure they had no idea what he was talking about. But I did.

You see, my son is a train.

He loves trains. He plays with trains. He can tell you about the different types of trains that exist today as well as those from yesteryear, and he watches any movie or TV show that involves trains. He can also do various whistles and toots from different kinds of trains. He wants to be a train driver when he grows up, and in his imagination he IS a train.

He never walks or runs anywhere. He puffs and chuffs. In our house, when it’s bath time, that’s known as “going to the Steamworks,” where my kid gets a new, shiny coat of paint. His arms are traction rods. His feet are wheels. His legs are pistons. His nose is a funnel. His mouth is his whistle, and you don’t really want to know what his firebox is, but suffice it to say, when it gets “stuffed up,” that’s not a good thing.

I have been told before that I ought to be concerned about his train obsession. Someone once told me that it isn’t normal for him to imagine that he is a train so much of the time.

But I disagree. His imagination is part of who he is, and I won’t take that away.

I do believe that there is a time and a place for everything, and although he lives in his imagination 90% of the time, he does know how to function very well in normal society, so I encourage his imaginative play.

He comes by that imagination honestly. I have always had a vivid imagination, and I believe God gave it to me on purpose so that I might be able to use it for writing.

Imagination sparks curiosity, creativity and cleverness, and I want to inspire my son toward those qualities, among others, and not deter him from them.

In the movie ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,’ Willy Wonka addressed the beauty of the imagination in the song, Pure Imagination.

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You’ll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There’s nothing
To it

Our imagination is a gift from God, allowing us to believe that anything is possible. Add Faith to that imagination, and it is possible to truly change the world.

And at my son’s next t-ball game, when he’s “chuffing” around the bases and tooting his whistle, you’ll see me there in the stands. I’ll be the one cheering for my favorite little engine.

Share with me: What do you think about encouraging kids with imaginative behavior? Can imaginative play be a negative thing? What is your child’s favorite imaginary game? Did you have an imaginary friend or game when you were a kid?

7 Comments

Filed under Parenting

Tagged as imagination, Jennifer K. Hale, trains, Willy Wonka

June 9, 2011 · 3:47 pm

Mommy “Me” Time- Pursuing Your Passions Purposefully

Imagine the following–

Mom #1 is a stay-at-homer, a homeschooler, who has several children of various ages and genders, and spends her days on housework, schoolwork, and shuttling kids from one activity to another. She’s organized, she’s intelligent, and she is creative. She likes to make sure that her kids are challenged, and she spends the majority of her time finding teachable lessons in every activity.

Mom # 2 is a stay-at-homer with young children. She spends her time cooking, cleaning, doing housework, picking up toys that keep getting vomited from the playroom, changing diapers, feeding babies, and chasing said children around until she’s too tired to function. Her prayer is that the baby will eventually be so exhausted that he’ll fall asleep and nap for at least one hour so that she can shower.

Mom #3 is a working mom. She works hard at her job all day and often has to bring that work home with her. Her kids spend their days in daycare or school, and mom often defers to take-out to feed the kids because the after-work hours are spent running to and from dance, soccer, baseball, tutoring, and every other activity under the sun. She wishes for some down time and looks forward to vacation.

Which mom are you? Most of us are a combination of these, but no matter what kind of mom you are, we all share one thing in common– the vast majority of our waking hours are spent doing things for other people.

And that is as it should be. “Me time” is a phrase that really shouldn’t exist in a mom’s verbal repertoire, because the moment one becomes a mother, “me time” ceases to exist. We all know that motherhood, when enjoyed properly, is a 24/7/365 job.

However, many mothers seem to lose their personal identity when their children come along. For example, if someone asked you to describe yourself, your answer would most likely begin with, “I’m a wife and mother…” and go on from there. But what if someone asked your children to describe you and what you like to do? Besides the tasks you complete out of responsibility, would they know how to describe who you are based on what you do and what you love outside of your family? Think about it for a minute– remove your children from the equation and really think about it– Who are you? What are you passionate about? What drives you, besides the love you no doubt have for your children? What are your hobbies? What sets you apart and adds to your identity?

Why is having a passion important?
Answering the above questions is a task that every woman should undertake. It is vitally important to the relationships you have in your life that you have a passion or hobby other than your kids. It’s also important to your own mental health. Having an identity outside of your children is part of being the amazing, individual woman that God created you to be. Show your children just how special you are and how special they can become by following their own passions. When you are passionate about something, not only can it be a wonderful example to your kids, but when your children are grown and gone, you’ll have something about yourself that remains “you,” maybe even something you can share with your spouse when you are empty nesters.

But while the nest is full, find your passion. Do you write? Read? Teach? Sew? Cook? Decorate cakes? Sing? Play a sport? Are you passionate about politics? Travel? Horseback riding? Do you enjoy volunteer work? Are you a movie buff? And the list goes on and on…

Let’s say you have discovered your passion. How do you effectively pursue that “me time” in order to maintain a healthy balance between yourself and your family and not go overboard in either direction? Here are some tips to pursuing your passion purposefully.

Get involved. Don’t be “sort of” passionate. Find something you love and go for it! If you can’t figure out what you are passionate about, start with your talents or hobbies. The world of the blogosphere is incredible- begin reading blogs that discuss your talents or hobbies and you might just discover a passion there. Consider starting a blog yourself. You might find that blogging becomes your passion.

If you have been wanting to lose weight, consider that your passion may be in getting healthy or working out. This is a great passion to extend to your family. Perhaps you are passionate about politics. Consider volunteering on a local campaign. Passionate about music? Consider joining your local church choir. Love teaching? How about volunteering to teach Sunday school? Perhaps consider starting a tutoring service. Love photography? Take some classes at a local university and start snapping those shots! Love to read? Consider starting a book review blog for your friends and family or simply joining a book club. Love to cook? Take a cooking class or a cake decorating class. A hobby like this could actually become a lucrative business. Passionate about helping others but don’t know how? Contact your church for a list of suggestions of areas where you could volunteer, or consider contacting a nursing home to see if you could volunteer to be a “buddy” and spend time sitting and talking with some of their residents each week. Not only will you be pursuing your passions, you’ll be blessing someone else! There are literally thousands of ideas, but you have to decide where your passions lie.

Be realistic. We sometimes cannot help what we are passionate about, but if you find that your passions lie with sword fighting, for example, stick to proper fencing lessons and stay away from dangerous sword play. We encourage our kids to think about safety first, and so should we. Also, wait until your kids are grown to pursue a passion such as archaeology. If you leave for a dig site in Egypt and miss the actual childhood of your kids, you’ve kind of missed the point. Stick to books about archaeology until you really do have the time to pursue such a passion, or one like it.

Get on a schedule. Putting your family on a schedule, one that includes your family activities as well as meal times, bed times, wake-up times (important for summer), TV times, nap times, school time, etc., will help you figure out when you can carve out a tiny bit of time for yourself in order to pursue your passion. Let’s be realistic, though. The majority of moms will be unable to make time for themselves daily. Try for once a week, and then see if you are able to add on. A regular nap time & bed time are not only healthy for your kids, they will provide an excellent source of time that you might be able to take advantage of!

Find support. If you need help, ask for it. Ask your hubby to pitch in around the house occasionally so that you might have a bit of time for your passion or hobby. If need be, get a babysitter. If you have friends who love to do the same thing that you do, organize a childcare swap so that you can each take turns doing what it is that you love.

Make mealtime a priority. In this fast-paced world where even the two year old has a day planner scheduled with play dates and time at the kids’ gym, meal time is the best time for your family to reconnect. Multiple studies have shown that families who eat dinner together regularly are less likely to have rebellious teens, dissolving relationships, and promote healthy communication between kids and their parents. Plus, it’s just fun! Turn the TV off, gather around the table, and when possible, let fast-food be a rarity. (The kids will look forward to the treat!)

Include your kids. Whatever it is that you love, introduce it to your kids! They may not love it as much as you do, but exposing your children to your passions will encourage self-confidence (Look at how Mom really goes for it when she plays tennis!), indulge their creativity (Mom makes great pottery. I wonder if I can do that? Maybe I can even paint!), encourage their imagination (I love talking to Mom about her writing. I wonder if I can tell stories, too.), and enhance their compassion (Mom really likes helping people. I think I want to volunteer at the shelter, too.), among other things. Of course, the point is to carve out time for yourself so that this is a solo activity, but exposing your kids is a necessity if you are going to take time away from them to pursue it. They’ll be able to see the passion in you, and it will rub off on them as they begin to discover their own passions in life.

Girl time is not “me time.” Many of us enjoy the privilege of getting together occasionally with our girlfriends. An evening out with them does not count as pursuing your passions. Sure, we love our friends, but we’re talking about making time for something; some talent, some hobby or passion, that we can pursue on our own. If your passion happens to overlap with girl time (like playing on a softball team) then, great!

Make memories. Life is about living, and many moms feel “stuck” in the rut of the day-in day-out monotony. Use your passions to help you and your family make memories.

Most importantly: Don’t let a hobby become an obsession. There’s a huge difference between pursuing a passion and neglecting family time. Be careful that you stick to your schedule and remember that no matter how passionate you are about what you are doing, you should be even more passionate about spending time with your family. Remember that passion does not equal obsession. With all of the other things moms have to balance, you don’t want the precious time you’re spending on your hobby or passion to outweigh the time you’re spending with your husband and kids.

Being a mom is one of the best gifts and privileges that God has given us. But it’s not all that we are. Make your relationship with Christ your first priority, your family your second, and somewhere on your list, make some time for pursuing your passions, too.

I love being a writer. I’m passionate about my stories, and I use the daily afternoon naptime/quiet time to write. I also often sacrifice sleep to write. I don’t recommend that. Sometimes I go back and read it and realize that all I typed in the dark of night was exhaustion-induced gibberish!

What are your passions and how do you pursue them?