Category Archives: Parenting

Personal Responsibilty– Can Someone Please Invent a Pill For That?

Blessed readers: you’re going to have to allow me a soapbox moment. I’m up here, I have an opinion, and this is my blog, so I’ll write it if I want to. (Yes, you can hum “It’s My Party” if you’d like.)

A while back my sweet writer-friend Jill Kemerer posted about TV shows that you just can’t look away from. Hey, Jill, I found mine! The other night I happened to be flipping through channels, unable to sleep, and my eyes locked onto Hoarders: Buried Alive.

If you’ve seen one second of this show, you know that every episode is pretty much the same. I’ve seen bits of the show once or twice before, but the other night, I simply could not look away.

The episode focused on a woman from N.C. who had two teenaged children. And her house looked like a tornado had blown through a dump and dropped it on top of all of them.

Trash. Everywhere. Bugs. Infested. Unlivable. Unsanitary. Disgusting.

Imagine the filthiest house you’ve ever seen then multiply it by one million and it still won’t be as gross as this house was.

On other episodes of this show the people who hoard have a problem with stuff. Stuff. Yeah, their places might be dirty, but mostly it’s a clutter and organization problem.

But this house was cluttered not with stuff, but with trash. Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. They called her a trash hoarder.

Are you kidding me?

It begs the question, when does hoarding become an excuse for laziness?

I got furious. Her house was nasty because she and her two grown children were too lazy to clean it up.

I’m not saying that hoarding doesn’t exist. Maybe it does. I can imagine some people have a very difficult time throwing out things because they attach memories and emotions to them. I can understand that every time I clean out my closet.

But I guarantee you, that was not this woman’s problem. Their stuff was fine. It was the trash, the bugs, and the filth that were the problem.

Her laziness was a reflection of something we’ve lost in our present society–the ability to accept personal responsibility for our actions, words, and thoughts.

Take a second to imagine what the world would be like if we’d all take a hard look in the mirror and say, “Yep, I messed up. It’s no one’s fault but my own.” And after that, imagine if we went out and tried to make our mistakes right! Gasp!

But we don’t do that. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we don’t have to accept responsibility for anything. Remember the famous court case of the lady who spilled hot coffee in her own lap while driving but she sued McDonald’s for selling her the hot coffee?

We blame our parents, our upbringing, “the man”, disease, the government, God, our teachers, our friends, lack of money, people who have more than we do, and anything and everything that might give us any reason NOT to look in the mirror and realize that we have no one else to blame.

Now, I’m not saying that there are never times when extenuating circumstances are a factor in what happens with us and to us. But seriously, people, are we really going to believe that not cleaning your house out of sheer laziness is a disease?

Why not take a look in the Good Book for what it says about personal responsibility? Believe it or not, it says a lot.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. 2 Corinth 5:10

That’s just one of the many, many verses where God reminds us of the right way to live because we are in Christ. This includes taking care of ourselves and the ones that we love. Here are a ton more verses.

If we were willing to accept personal responsibility, we could change the world. Really.

We want it life to be easy. We expect it to be. But that’s a lie straight from the pits of hell. There’s no pill for personal responsibility. It’s hard sometimes. And it’s often ugly.

And in the case that you are reading this thinking, “Man, she sounds seriously judgmental,” that’s not my intent at all. In no way am I judging anyone’s heart or their relationship with and to the God of the Universe. I’m not perfect. I find myself looking for excuses for my own screw ups, too. Yet most of the time, there’s no one to blame but me. And I’m not afraid to call myself out on my own mistakes. If I’m going to gripe about a lack of personal responsibility, I sure better make sure I’m trying my best to have some.

As my grandmother used to say, “We can’t judge, but we can certainly inspect the fruit.”

Share with me: What issues get you fired up and on your soap box?

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Filed under Just For Fun, Parenting

How Do You Raise a Disciple?

This is not the post I had planned for today, but something really wonderful happened in our family this week and it changed the direction of my thinking.

Earlier in the week, our oldest son who is nearly six, prayed to ask Christ into his heart.

We are celebrating!

We’re celebrating because we know that he’ll spend eternity in the presence of God and celebrating that he’s chosen this path.

But now what?

The focus moves from leading him to Christ to helping him become a disciple. But just exactly how do we do that? I’m assuming with a lot of prayer, because that’s how we’ve been doing it all along.

Although my husband and I aren’t necessarily surprised by our son’s decision to follow Christ as his Lord and Savior, we were somewhat surprised by the timing. We thought it would take longer for him to make this decision.

You see, our son is incredibly logical. Logical to a fault, most times.

When we first started mentioning the idea of “accepting Christ” or “asking Christ into your heart” or “following Jesus”, our son saw no need for such things.

In his young mind there was no other option but to follow Jesus. As he reasoned to us, Jesus has always been in his heart. His five year-old self saw no other possibilities in life but to love, honor, and follow Christ.

This is a wonderful, enviable view on life.

So it took us awhile to help him understand that the choice to follow Christ is just that–a choice. Yet again he reasoned that for him there is and was no other option. For awhile he even argued that there was no reason for him to accept Christ into his heart–He was already there.

This has been an ongoing, on again-off again discussion for several months in our house. My husband and I have prayed since the moment we found out we were expecting a child (both times) that we’d raise our children to love the Lord. So, when the right moments presented themselves, we discussed it and our son reasoned.

Last Sunday morning as we were driving to church he suddenly piped up from the back seat, “Hey Mom, Dad. I’m ready to be baptized.”

We spoke about it for a few minutes and asked if he was ready to pray to ask Jesus into his heart. In his unique style he said, “I am. But I’m going to do it on Saturday.”

My husband and I smiled at each other– he’s not ready, we thought.

But the very next night at bedtime, once we’d settled in to say prayers, unprompted our son says, “I’m ready to say a special prayer now.” And he did.

Although I couldn’t help but get a little weepy, my son was very logical about it. (No shocker.) He approached the whole thing from the attitude that “I’ve always loved and followed Jesus, and now I’m just confirming that this is what I want to do with my life.”

And now that he’s made this decision, we’re looking forward to his baptism (not sure when that’s going to happen yet) and our focus shifts just a little bit.

Now we must raise him to become a disciple of Christ. I’d love your feedback in the comments about any books, ideas, etc, that have helped you do this with your own kids.

One of the things that has really stimulated conversations about Jesus is this Bible. It was given to our boys by their aunt and each and every story in it ties back to the sacrifice and redeeming salvation of Christ, but on a kid’s level.

Click here for the link to Amazon.com

We love it because it’s easy to read, it’s interesting, and for me, it’s made me consider new perspectives on stories I’ve known since I was my son’s age.

Even though we’ve had other picture Bibles, this one, by far, has offered the opportunity to discuss the idea of sin, redemption and grace more than any of the others. If you’re looking for a good kid’s Bible, I recommend that you check this one out.

As my husband and I continue to pray that we’ll raise our sons to love and serve the Lord, we’re celebrating this special blessing. And we pray that our two year-old will follow in his big brother’s footsteps.

I know there are other parents out there wanting encouragement as to how to lead your child to Christ, and then after set them on a road of life-long discipleship, so…

Share with me: When it comes to teaching your kids about following Christ, what worked for you? What books and other things do you recommend? When teaching your children about discipleship and the life-long adventure of Christianity, what do you recommend?

Don’t forget about my giveaway going on until 3/6/12. Have you entered yet? If not, do that here.

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Filed under Parenting, The Christian Walk

To Watch My Son Die

My son came home from school one day recently and told me that a little boy in his class was being mean to him.

I reacted how all mothers would react–I wanted to rush right back into that school and rip that mean little boy’s head off for hurting my baby.

Of course, I didn’t do it.

I’ve always understood the story of the Nativity, but I don’t think I ever really appreciated it until I became a mother.

Suddenly I can relate to Mary as she eagerly anticipated the birth of her first child. The nerves about becoming a mother. The uncertainty of raising a child. The difficulties they’d face financially. The worry over whether or not she’d be able to do it–raise a child according to the laws of God.

And add on top of that all the extras that she and Joseph faced–like raising the Son of God, and as a mother, I can relate to her fears and anxieties.

Mary must have been a strong woman. Granted, she was raising the only kid on earth who never sinned (can you imagine that?? He cleaned his room each time she asked with no arguing!!) 🙂  What a blessing to know that she was following the commandment of God–that she was the one chosen to bring God in man’s form to the world.

Mary must have been a strong woman.

She brought the son of God into the world.

She watched her son die.

Imagine it–watching your baby grow and develop into the son of God, the man that would change the world for all time.  Feel the love Mary felt for her child–the earthly bond between mother and son. The bond between mother and child.

Mary’s instinct must have been to protect him at all costs.

And yet, Mary had to stand by and watch her son as he was tormented, jeered, beaten, scoffed, bruised, and ultimately killed for the sins of all mankind.

I wanted to rip that other kid’s head off just for hurting my son’s feelings. Imagine what Mary wanted to do the day Jesus was crucified.

Imagine her pain. Imagine her torment as she watched all that occurred. Imagine knowing that she’d brought the son of God into the world–knowing that she was part of a bigger plan, yet unable to stop her son’s pain.

Imagine hearing the words, “Here is your mother,” as Jesus spoke them to John. Imagine knowing that even in death, her son was taking care of her.

Just thinking about it brings a pain to my heart so great, that I can’t think of Mary without thinking of my relationships with my own sons.

I know for certain that I could not stand by and watch them die. I would have been fighting, even if it was to beg God for mercy–to change the plan, to come up with something else, to sacrifice someone else’s son on behalf of the world.

But Mary didn’t do that. “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” She responded to the angel who brought the news of her pregnancy. She accepted God’s plan for her, surrendering her life, and the life of her unborn child, completely to the Lord.

In this Christmas season, may we remember Mary’s dedication to serving the Lord, even when it meant enduring the ultimate sacrifice with a mother’s heart–the death of her precious son for the sins of all mankind.

How much of ourselves are we willing to commit to the Lord, no matter the cost?

Share with me: What part of the nativity story touches you the most and why?

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Filed under Parenting, The Christian Walk