Category Archives: Romance

January 24, 2013 · 6:00 am

Add Another Candle and Is Age a Turn-Off?

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeee……Happy Birthday to me!

I don’t really feel any older than I did yesterday, or ten years ago for that matter. I bet my body would disagree, though.

And I am proud of every candle on my cake. Each one brings one more year of wisdom and one more year of blessings!

I will be partaking of chocolate cake today because when it’s your birthday, chocolate cake is the only way to go!

******************************************

Today’s post is about age. How appropriate. 🙂

Let’s pretend we’re reading a romance novel and we find out that our hero is ten years older than our heroine. As a reader, how does that sit with you?

My guess is that the majority of female readers would be a-okay with this age gap, crediting our hero and his ten years with maturity and wisdom earned by living. It might even make him more appealing to our heroine and our reader. Same thing goes for real life, I’d wager.

My husband is four years older than I. I like to remind him that I was in the 8th grade when he finished high school. Perhaps the age gap would have mattered in those years (my parents would never have let me date a boy 4 years older when I was in high school), but now, the age gap doesn’t matter at all.

But what about when the age gap goes the other way? What about when she is older than he?

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend about dating and she let me in on her little prejudice against younger men. She’s single, thirty, and feels like dating younger basically equates to dating someone less worthy.

Hmm…. But what if he’s the one? What if God has designed him just for you but because he’s two or three or four years younger, you won’t give him the time of day?

How young is too young when it comes to relationships when the woman is older?

Now, let’s set some parameters here. I’m not talking May-December romances, gold-diggers, or “cougars”, which clearly deserve a post all to themselves with serious psychiatric evaluation.

I’m strictly talking about women and the possibility of dating/marrying someone younger than themselves within a reasonable age gap.

The question is then– what is a reasonable age gap if the woman is older than the man?

I personally know a couple of gals who have married men who are three years younger than themselves. Acceptable? What about four years? Unacceptable?

Put it in this context– if you were reading a romance novel and the heroine was older than the hero, how many years is acceptable between them? How many years between them suddenly becomes “weird” or unacceptable and would cause you to toss the book aside?

Share with me: Would you date a younger man? How many years between a story heroine, if she’s older, and a hero is acceptable to you? Why do you think there’s more of a “stigma” for women who date/marry younger men than there is for a similar age gap if the man is older?

Enjoy my birthday, readers! Have a piece of cake (chocolate) in my honor. 🙂

17 Comments

Filed under Romance

Tagged as age, age gap, birthday, cougar, may-december, novel, reading, romance

September 26, 2012 · 6:00 am

Are You in the 53%?

Before I begin my post, I need your help!! I still haven’t heard from a couple of my winners of last week’s Bright Side Blog Bash. If you are connected in some social media or real life way to Dawn Kelley or Heidi Blankenship, please please please let them know to contact me!

Thanks!

*******************************

I’m so not a celebrity stalker. In fact, I pretty much couldn’t care less who is going out with whom in Hollywood or who is or isn’t breaking up this week.

Mostly it’s because I give all celebrity relationships a 1% chance of making it for a lifetime.

When the divorce rate among “regular” people is over 50%, I find it hard to believe that those living in the spotlight, in the culture of madness that is Hollywood, can keep their wits about them long enough to make a real relationship work.

When the news came out that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson, I thought, “I’m so not surprised.” I was only surprised that they made it as long as they did. (Of course, they aren’t married. I know.)

Katy Perry divorcing Russell Brand? That’s not a shock, is it? Really?

Mel Gibson has a love child with some Russian woman? I have to admit that that one made me sad. I had always hoped that ole Mel was one of the good guys. But clearly he’s shown us just what a weirdo he is.

And what about Arnold and Maria? Married forever. One of the ones that might last. And then we find out that he, too, has a love child. One he’s been hiding for a long time. Marriage over.

Tom and Katie? If you thought that one would last, I have some beach-front property in Kansas I’d like to sell you.

Don’t even get me started on Brad Pitt. He cheats on Jennifer Anniston with Angelina Jolie and the whole world excuses it.

Sigh.

I imagine that there is added pressure when you live in the spotlight. The masses expect perfection– and they devour failure.

The public loves a good celebrity divorce because the public wants to think that they are better than celebrities.

But “the public” is not.

I saw a statistic the other day that blew my mind. Did you know that 53% of Christians would have an affair if given the opportunity?

That’s not 53% of people, folks. That’s 53% of the populous who identifies themselves as CHRISTIANS.

And like many of you, I know Christians in that 53% who have acted on that opportunity and in the process, destroyed their families. Some are repentant about it. Many aren’t.

Marriage seems to be an in-and-out status change, one that’s as easy to create or destroy as a simple click on Facebook.

But marriage is hard work. Work that most people aren’t willing to put time and energy into.

Especially those time-strapped, blinded celebrities.

So put yourself in the spotlight right now. Imagine someone is waiting for you in the bushes outside, trying to snap photos of you and your spouse.

Will those paparazzi get the shots they most want– the photos of a failing marriage? Shots of you fighting? Photos of you passing in silence? Photos of you living two separate lives within one marriage? Photos of you making everything in your life more important than your spouse? How about photos of your children caught in the middle of a dying family?

Or will they get the shots they can’t sell– the ones of a couple who makes time for one another? The photos of a couple who puts Christ in the center of their marriage and family? Pictures of an imperfect couple making it work, one day at a time by focusing on what’s good in their lives, instead of what’s bad?

What photos will those paparazzi get of you today?

Share with me: Do you have a favorite celebrity couple?

12 Comments

Filed under Marriage, Romance

Tagged as celebrity couples, marriage, paparazzi, romance

June 22, 2012 · 6:00 am

If Beauty Is In the Eye of the Beholder, We’re In Trouble

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

We’ve heard it and said it a zillion times.

We talk about how important it is for all people, not just Christians, to keep from judging one another. We live in a world of political correctness where all are supposed to be equal. We fight for respect and acceptance.

But not for ourselves. It seems we can’t grant ourselves the very thing we fight to give everyone else.

Why is it that we can train ourselves to refrain from judging others, but when it comes to what we see in the mirror, we’re our own worst critics?

I recently read a post on marriage and sex on Sheila Gregoire’s blog, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, that made me pause.

(By the way, if you aren’t familiar with her blog, you should get familiar. I think it’s excellent.)

She did a series of posts promoting her new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and it she delved into the problem that many women face in the bedroom–accepting their own bodies.

I think I have half-decent self-esteem. I’m okay with myself and the body God gave me. Sometimes. On a good day.

So I was shocked when the challenge on Sheila’s blog that day stumped me.

The challenge was to name five things about your body that you really, truly like.

I couldn’t do it.

I venture to say that there are a very, very small number of women on the planet that can do it, and I’d also guess that most of them aren’t supermodels.

Five. Five things about your body that you can celebrate and be proud of. And things that come in sets don’t count as two.

I’m right there with the majority of women who engage in an unhealthy amount of self-loathing every time they look in the mirror.

And that self-loathing is destroying our relationships–both with our spouses and with other women.

We don’t like what we see in the mirror. We don’t like what genetics, babies, time, and development have done to our bodies. We can’t accept the skin we’ve been given. We want to look like someone else.

We live in a society where beauty is emphasized over character. And that’s so, so messed up.

So, what do we do about it?

Some women turn into recluses, covering themselves from head to toe, hiding. They over-compensate for their looks by drawing attention away from them–covering up, or on the other side, distracting from their looks with funny faces, wild personalities, crazy antics. Then there are those who take matters into their own hands and seek medical correction for the “flaws” they see. Still others, try to “correct” their problems with too much exercise and too little food.

Don’t get me wrong– I think being healthy is incredibly important.

But I don’t think any of these actions are healthy.

I think healthy begins with acceptance. And acceptance begins with learning to like what we see in the mirror, no matter what size, shape, or color we are.

I’m challenging myself and now I challenge you.

Share with me: Can you name five things about your body that you really, truly like?