Tag Archives: lady

Why I Won’t Be One of the Boys


My two oldest boys, off on a mission to save the world!

I’m surrounded by testosterone. I’m living in a house with 4 men (okay, one man and three little boys who will one day be men…)

My life is full of trains and race cars, superheroes and bikes, mud and dirt and noise and bumps and bruises, sports, sports, and more sports. How many hours straight can a dude watch ESPN before his brain explodes?

It would be easy for me to become what they are. It would be easy for me to be just “one of the boys.”

I love superhero movies. I have learned more about trains in the past seven years than I ever thought I would know. I can kick a soccer ball and play catch with my sons. I enjoy watching football. I can play “shoot ’em up” and I’ve dusted off my Super Mario skills to keep up with the boys on the Wii.

But I’m not a boy, and I think it is vitally important that my sons know it.

While I love them and I love being involved in their lives, they need to realize that beyond the biological differences God created between boys and girls, I am a lady and I expect to be treated as such.

Why do I expect this? Because I live like a lady and I am preparing them to go out into the world as gentlemen. You’re welcome, future daughters-in-law.


My boys constantly hear the words, “This is how a gentleman treats a lady.”

I want sons who are as rough-and-tumble as the next group of boys, but I want my sons to respect women. I want them to protect women. I want them to show compassion to their future wives and develop habits that are respectable, cultured, and refined.

Why do so many women believe chivalry is dead? Because we, as women, no longer expect it to be alive. We’ve demanded equality and so we are receiving it. And it’s not always pretty.

I want to raise gentlemen. But raising a gentleman starts with me— I am the most important lady in their lives right now and my life must reflect that.

In this ever-changing world where women are becoming (and sometimes expected to be) more and more masculine, it’s no longer commonplace to find ladies among a sea of gentlemen. It’s a nostalgic thought, dead with the introduction of “equality” and Women’s Lib.

In my home boys and girls are not equals because we were created differently. I want my sons to realize the differences and step up to be the kind of men God created– ones who love and honor their wives and families, who make it a priority to provide, and put God and their families before everything else.

I have no shame in setting high expectations of my sons in all areas of their lives, including knowing that when there is a lady present, their inner gentleman must come out.

I’m old school like that and there’s no shame in it.

Share with me: What quality to you think is most important in a gentleman? In a lady?

Real Signature


Filed under Family, Parenting

What Makes A Lady?

I love this photo.

I think it’s true.

Although, I don’t think guys are off the hook from being a gentleman just because a girl isn’t acting like a lady.

But that’s not where I want to go with this.

Instead, I pose the following question: What makes a lady?

When creating a heroine, one has to consider a lot of different characteristics and traits. Let’s face it–not all of them are ladylike.

Other things we consider: We want our heroines to be strong. We want them to have the ability to overcome any obstacle.

At the same time, we want them to be vulnerable enough to be loved.

And I don’t think the “lady” is just for historical novels. No, no. I think creating a woman who is also a lady is very do-able in contemporary fiction.

But in our society, we tend to think “lady-likeness” is reserved for years gone by.

How can we do it better in contemporary novels?

Share with me: What does it mean to be a lady? Give an example of a fictional character OR someone in your life who was a great example of what it means to be a lady and why you think so.


Filed under Writing