Romancing the Sand

The rolling waves, the clean, soft sand, the briny wind and lazy, drifting clouds–it all presents the perfect locale for a romantic scene.

Like Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity, or Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum in Dear John, the romanticism of the beach can wash over one like waves on the shore (cliched pun intended.)

So, my hubby and I decided to take a nice stroll along the beach in the moonlight. Hand in hand, we wandered along the water’s edge as the gentle waves lapped at our feet.

And sand birds swooped in after the tiny creatures washing ashore in the water.
And shells scraped against the skin of my feet.
And I held in shrieks every time seaweed touched me.
And the water made my skin sticky.
And the drunk people on the beach celebrated too loudly.
And I got paranoid about sting-rays and crabs in the shallows because we had seen some earlier in the day.
And sand blew in my face.
And I watched for jelly-fish washing up on shore.

So much for the moment.

I can appreciate the beauty and majesty of God’s creation when looking out over the rolling ocean or the moon reflecting upon the water. I’m not inhuman, but…

All my life, I’ve been a fair-weather friend of the beach. (I know that there are some of you who don’t want to be my friend anymore.)

I like the atmosphere of being at the beach, but I only actually like being on the beach for a few minutes, and then I’m done.

There are creatures in the water. Don’t tell me there aren’t–I’ve seen them. And I’m not a fan of creatures.

The waves can get really strong and it freaks me out–I don’t want my kids getting sucked out.

Sand is the most annoying substance on earth. It gets EVERYWHERE. Eating on the beach inevitably means ingesting at least a pound of sand, so a picnic is kind of out. And sand has a habit of traveling home with you. I’m still finding it in our house.

And since it’s a true fact that my nickname is Pale Hale, the sun and I aren’t exactly buddies. SPF 900 has to be reapplied about every 10 minutes for me to avoid looking like a lobster.

“Now I know why you like those vampire books,” my husband said to me as I sat on a blanket and watched my boys frolic in the water. “You look like you’re about to burst into flames.”

I ignored his snarky comments because I was measuring the water around my boys’ ankles. Is it deep enough for a shark?

So the whole idea of the beach being a place for a romantic rendezvous is kinda out for me.

When I look at the picture of Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster above, all I can think is, “they’re gonna get sand in some awkward places.”

Share with me: Is there a location that most people consider romantic that you don’t find romantic at all?

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6 Comments

Filed under Just For Fun, Romance

6 responses to “Romancing the Sand

  1. Jenny I love it!! We are kindred spirits in this. My husband proposed on the beach at night and I almost foiled it because he had to convince me to go out there because I just knew crabs were going to eat my toes. I love the sea breeze and enjoy the scenery from the balcony but I don't step foot in the ocean because of seaweed, creatures, waves and salt! Blah! And I constantly imagine shark attacks or relive the memory of my did being stung by a stingray. For me the romantic place would be the mountains during the winter in a cabin with massive windows showing the beautiful snow covered scenery and a roaring fire. But as far as not romantic the beach for sure and, since I'm a Twilight fan, the meadow scenes where they lay down in the grass without so much as a blanket gets me too. I mean I don't care how pretty the flowers are, or Edward is when he sparkles, grass is still itchy and there are chiggers in there as well!! 🙂

  2. Hilarious and so true! I agree, the beach isn't nearly as romantic as the idea of the beach.Neither is picnicking at the lake. It's muggy and hot, and I refuse to smooch anything with a perspiring upper lip or sweaty pits! And just as you gaze into your lovely loves eyes, you have to smack mosquitoes away and defend flies from the cheese and other romantic foods laid out. You never see that in movies. They lay there and chat and smooch and not once do they shoo flies off the wine and cheese!

  3. LOL! Sand in some awkward places is right!

  4. I can't believe that some of y'all agree with me! 🙂 I figured that I was going to get it from readers who hate me now because I'm not a beach-baby.

  5. Add me to the list of beach-hating pale people. I can't stand the feeling of sand, sweat, sunscreen, saltwater, or seaweed–all of which are unavoidable at the beach. On the other hand, I did LOVE the beach in Maine when I was there a few years ago. There was still sand caked to the bottom of my jeans (I was there in October and we were looking at lighthouses, not swimming), but the water was cold and the shorelines were rocky and it was such a far cry from the beaches I'm used to. It was so beautiful that I could forgive it for being a beach.That being said, I agree with your first commenter–mountains are way more romantic than icky sandy beaches.

  6. Oh, I will politely number myself among the ocean lovers. But we don't all have to be the same. Isn't that part of the fun of this life?But you won't catch me kissing on the sand with the waves at my feet. That's just asking for a full body microdermabrasion.

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