September 9, 2011 · 5:00 am

Her Hand in Marriage

Our ideas of what is romantic have certainly changed over the past few decades.

Our ideas about relationships and marriage have changed, too. Yet somehow, even as our world morphs into a place where fewer and fewer couples choose to marry and those who do are facing increased rates of divorce, when it comes to marriage, our culture clings to some things that are tradition.

The man asks the woman.

The white dress.

The bachelor party.

The down-on-one-knee proposal.

And Daddy’s permission.

I was watching an episode of a TV show not too long ago where one of the characters proposed to his girlfriend. She said yes, but when she realized he had not yet asked her father for permission for her hand in marriage, she told him that she could not give him an “official” yes until he did so.

Returning home, the man asked his brother, “Did you know people still did that? The whole, ‘ask the dad thing’?”

The brother replied: “Of course. What society have you been living in?”

And what society do we live in? Most of the time it appears that we, as a society, have moved past the things of tradition to a more contemporary mix of “whatever works.”

For the most part, anything is acceptable. We might call different “eclectic,” but in our P.C. world, who’s to judge, right?

But as I watched the show, I found it odd that a man who had an openly sexual relationship with an independent woman (as expected by the other characters), was suddenly being chastised for not following the “rules” by speaking to the woman’s father about marrying his daughter.

Is that a mix of the modern and the traditional? Can that mix survive in today’s world?

For decades women have fought long and hard to been seen as equal, independent, and fully capable of making their own decisions.

So, does Daddy even have his daughter’s hand to give in marriage? Or is her hand now her own, according to the feminists?

Our society seems to be sending mixed signals– woman is fiercely independent, able to survive without a man, yet still wants love of her life to confer with father over future of her life.

The whole thing left me scratching my head.

Share with Me: What do you think about this? Is Daddy’s permission still required for marriage? Should it be? Is it possible to mix the traditional and the modern and have it work?

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September 7, 2011 · 5:00 am

Vacation from Reality

I love a good book.

What a ridiculous statement, right? Of course I love a good book.

But I mean it. There is nothing I love more than getting sucked into a great story; one that I can’t put down. One that I must finish or die trying. One that I wish would go on and on beyond the final page…

We went to the beach this past weekend, which was a wonderful treat for our family. We had about a 7 hour drive (one way) in the car, so I took advantage of it, loaded my Kindle with tons of choices, and ran by the bookstore before we left to get an actual paperback that had just released.

I am very thankful that God blessed me with the super power of lightning-fast reading. I read one novel on our way to Florida, another on our way home, and started a third.

My husband thinks I’m a freak.

But when I have uninterrupted reading time, I take advantage of it.

And because I had this uninterrupted time, I was able to dive right into the stories, uninhibited, focused, ready to be completely drawn into the story and swept away.

And I was. And THAT was my vacation.

And for all the time that I sit around thinking about my own stories, or plotting, writing, editing, fretting, proof reading, etc…

I remember that I love writing because I love reading.

Nothing inspires me as a writer more than a well-written novel.

I can remember the first novel that ever really drew me in–the one I read and re-read over and over because the story sucked me in like no other. 

Call me crazy, but it was a Sweet Valley Twins novel that I read when I was about 9 years old.  I loved it.  Although I can’t remember the title (I could probably go dig it out of a box in my parent’s attic), I remember that the story was one where the twins, Jessica and Elizabeth, were pulled into some sort of fairy-tale dream world that they had to battle their way out of. It turned out that it was all a figment of one of the twins’ imagination (cliched ending, I know, but to a 9 year old, it was awesome).

I have been an avid reader since I was really young. Sweet Valley Twins, The Babysitters Club, the Christy Miller Series…

Detached from reality, I would lay on my bed and read and chew Bubble Tape until I went through an entire roll, sometimes before I finished the book. I did that with all the books I read.

And my passion for reading continues. But my snack choices have changed. I’m now into anything chocolate. M&Ms are a great choice.

When I read something good–something great, I want to create a story of my own that is equally as captivating, equally as challenging, romantic, historic, contemporary, equally as epic, funny, relateable, instructive, dynamic, nuanced, obvious, whatever…

The next time you need some inspiration or just an escape, pick up a good book. For suggestions, check out the “Reading” page above, where I’ve posted short reviews of the books I’ve read recently.

Share with Me: Do you remember the first book you ever read that really sucked you in; a book that you didn’t want to end? What’s your favorite snack to eat while reading?

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August 31, 2011 · 5:00 am

Mood Music

Music is a daily part of my life. I kinda can’t live without it.

I’m one of these weirdos that likes all kinds of music. Turn my iPod on shuffle, and you’re likely to hear Coldplay, Adele, Taylor Swift, Sting, Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlan The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, Journey, soundtracks from Wicked, Glee, and The Sound of Music, or maybe a little Justin Beiber, Kris Allen, Lifehouse, OneRepublic, Parachute, Kari Jobe, Florence + the Machine, Celine Dion, and The Wiggles. Yes, I can rock out to The Wiggles if need be.

I have quite the large and eclectic collection. I like all types of music except heavy metal and hard-core rap.

As a rule, I don’t usually buy an album unless I’ve heard at least two or three songs off of it that I like.

And because of iTunes and other means of music purchasing, we connoisseurs of music no longer have to purchase an entire album– just the songs we like.

I’m one of these writers that cannot write without music. Cannot.

Music puts me into the “mood” of my story.

For example, I’ve been editing a manuscript that’s rather deep and dark, so my tunes have been Plumb, Evanesence, Within Temptation, and We Are the Fallen. Deep, heavy, “emo” music.

And when I was working on a historical recently, I listened to the Pride & Prejudice soundtrack quite a bit.

When I need happy, I pull out Abba. When I need romantic heartbreak or “moody blues,” I’m into SnowPatrol, Verdera, Sarah McLachlan and Coldplay.

Music inspires me. It helps me to “feel” happy, sad, depressed, scared, angry or romantic; whatever the need may be.  It creates a mood, especially when I happen to be feeling something else entirely on a particular day.

I often hear a song and get a story idea, or sometimes I hear one and think, “that will go perfectly with this scene I’m writing.” I did that recently with a song from JJ Heller. A great, happy, upbeat romantic song perfect for a budding relationship.

So, from all of that, each of my manuscripts has its own soundtrack.

Sometimes I think my life has a soundtrack. Hopefully it doesn’t have as much “emo” music as does the soundtrack for the manuscript I’ve been editing. Ha.

This is an example of a great song that helped inspire the plot in a novel I’m currently working on. The song is called Until You Came Along by JJ Heller. 

Share with Me: Do you listen to music daily? Does music affect your mood? Writers–do you write to music? Do you prefer music with or without lyrics? Is there a particular song that has inspired you?

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