Category Archives: Romance

November 16, 2011 · 6:00 am

Worst Break Up Excuses EVER

We all hate that moment–the one where you know the relationship is over and now you have to do something about it.

Thankfully I haven’t had to break up with anybody in a long, long time and I don’t plan on having to do it ever again. (I love you, babe!) but being broken up with is the pits. I’ve made a collection of some of the worst break up lines and the reasons why.

The Psychologist — it’s not you, it’s me. And then he’ll offer 100 reasons why it’s really you.

The Gut-wrencher — I’ve met somebody else. This one hurts the worst, I think, because now you’re automatically thinking, “I’m not good enough. She’s better.” It’s the most painful.

The Vanisher — he doesn’t call, he doesn’t write, he simply disappears from the face of the earth and hopes you’ll take the hint. Coward, I say.

The Holier-Than-Thou — God doesn’t want me to have a girlfriend right now. Yech. I hate this one the most because it was used on me once. But a week later, dude was dating a new girl. Hmmm. Wonder what God said about that.

The Player — we need a break. This is code for “I want to get with someone else and still have a chance to get back with you.” Your answer should be no.

The Scaredy-cat — Sends a note or text or leaves a voicemail saying the relationship is over. I was guilty of this once. Ouch.

The Animal Rights Activist — Your cat has feline leukemia you say? That’s airborne. I have a cat too. Here’s some money for a cab. We can’t see each other anymore. My husband actually used this on a poor, unsuspecting young lady years and years ago. Yep, he loved his cat more than he liked the girl. Lucky for me, I suppose.

The Mama’s Boy — My mommy says that I can do better. And, ladies, you can do better than a mama’s boy.

The Liar — I just don’t love you anymore. Either he never did or he still does, but either way, he was lying at some point.

The Romantic– It’s just not our time. Oh, please. It probably never will be if you stick with this drama queen.

The Waffler — Let’s just take it slow. When he’s with you, he says all the right things and treats you like the only woman in the world, then doesn’t call for three weeks. He’s out and he’s in. Drop this one quickly or he’ll make you crazy. Maybe use one of the excuses above.

Share with me: What are the worst break up lines or excuses that you can think of? Any really bad ones ever used on you?

13 Comments

Filed under Romance, Writing

Tagged as break ups, relationships, romance

October 19, 2011 · 5:30 am

Same-Side Couples

Did I catch your attention with that title? Well, then this post might not be about what you think it is. 🙂

My hubby and I took our 2 year old out to dinner the other night (his big brother was at a birthday party) and we enjoyed some family time at our favorite Mexican place in town.

Toward the end of our meal, my hubby says to me,”Don’t look now, but I think the couple behind us must be a new couple.”

This has become a little game for us. Even when we were dating, when we were out in a restaurant, we’d watch other couples and determine what was up with them.

I remember one time when we were engaged, my hubby pointed out a couple near us in Ruby Tuesday’s. “They’re fighting,” he said.

“No way. No they’re not.”

“Watch. He’s not going to order food, but she is. Just look at their faces.”

Sure enough, Hubby was right. Guy didn’t order while gal ordered something and stabbed at it like she was trying to kill it, and they barely spoke two words to each other the entire meal.

So at dinner the other night, I waited until we were leaving to casually stand up and do a little “I’m-wiping-off-Little-Man’s-face” spin to check out the couple behind us.

And they were both sitting on the same side of the table.

In a booth.

On the same side.

“Nope, not a new couple,” I said. “New couples like to look at each other.”

“Then why would they sit on the same side?”

“I have no idea.” I shrugged. “Because they’re weird?”

Now, no offense to any of you who might be same-sided in preference. But I find it weird. Totally weird.

Sure, sitting on the same side of the table might give you more touchy-feely time (watch out for guacamole!) but it leaves two seats open across from you. Noticeably and obviously open.

And when I’m talking to my hubby over dinner, I want to face him so that I can look at him. I want to see his eyes, read his expressions, and watch him laugh.

Perhaps they were waiting for another couple to show up, you might reason.

Nope. They’d already received their entrees when we were leaving.

Share with me: Are you a same-side couple or an across-from couple? If you’re same-side, what’s up with that? Why do you prefer it?

Inspiration of the Week: I’ve been catching up on episodes of Hawaii Five-O, and I think Alex O’Loughlin is pretty. Very pretty. 🙂

11 Comments

Filed under Romance, Writing

Tagged as dating, romance

September 16, 2011 · 5:00 am

Romancing the Sand

The rolling waves, the clean, soft sand, the briny wind and lazy, drifting clouds–it all presents the perfect locale for a romantic scene.

Like Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity, or Amanda Seyfried and Channing Tatum in Dear John, the romanticism of the beach can wash over one like waves on the shore (cliched pun intended.)

So, my hubby and I decided to take a nice stroll along the beach in the moonlight. Hand in hand, we wandered along the water’s edge as the gentle waves lapped at our feet.

And sand birds swooped in after the tiny creatures washing ashore in the water.
And shells scraped against the skin of my feet.
And I held in shrieks every time seaweed touched me.
And the water made my skin sticky.
And the drunk people on the beach celebrated too loudly.
And I got paranoid about sting-rays and crabs in the shallows because we had seen some earlier in the day.
And sand blew in my face.
And I watched for jelly-fish washing up on shore.

So much for the moment.

I can appreciate the beauty and majesty of God’s creation when looking out over the rolling ocean or the moon reflecting upon the water. I’m not inhuman, but…

All my life, I’ve been a fair-weather friend of the beach. (I know that there are some of you who don’t want to be my friend anymore.)

I like the atmosphere of being at the beach, but I only actually like being on the beach for a few minutes, and then I’m done.

There are creatures in the water. Don’t tell me there aren’t–I’ve seen them. And I’m not a fan of creatures.

The waves can get really strong and it freaks me out–I don’t want my kids getting sucked out.

Sand is the most annoying substance on earth. It gets EVERYWHERE. Eating on the beach inevitably means ingesting at least a pound of sand, so a picnic is kind of out. And sand has a habit of traveling home with you. I’m still finding it in our house.

And since it’s a true fact that my nickname is Pale Hale, the sun and I aren’t exactly buddies. SPF 900 has to be reapplied about every 10 minutes for me to avoid looking like a lobster.

“Now I know why you like those vampire books,” my husband said to me as I sat on a blanket and watched my boys frolic in the water. “You look like you’re about to burst into flames.”

I ignored his snarky comments because I was measuring the water around my boys’ ankles. Is it deep enough for a shark?

So the whole idea of the beach being a place for a romantic rendezvous is kinda out for me.

When I look at the picture of Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster above, all I can think is, “they’re gonna get sand in some awkward places.”

Share with me: Is there a location that most people consider romantic that you don’t find romantic at all?