Tag Archives: Edward Cullen

February 8, 2012 · 7:05 am

Are You Writing to Your Character’s Love Language?

My Sunday school class recently started a new study– The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Some of you have probably heard of this book/study. It’s been around for awhile and has pretty much become a staple for anyone getting married or working to improve their marriage. (Aren’t we all?)

Although I’ve known about this book for years, I had never read it. So when my Sunday school teacher announced that this would be our study for the quarter, I was really excited.

I really wanted to get into the nitty gritty of what my love language is and what my husband’s is. And once we both took the quiz to discover that information, I was not at all surprised by the results. It pretty much pegged us.

We were discussing the results in class a few Sundays ago when our teacher recommended that we try to discover the love language of our children.

And I had an ah-ha! moment.

Why not use this material and apply it to my characters? I am a romance writer, after all. 

A little light bulb turned on over my head.

I started thinking about my WIP and almost immediately I knew what love language each of my lead characters communicated in. Because of that, I knew how he and she should respond to each other–what needed to happen for them to “feel” loved and how they would communicate their love to one another.

In case you aren’t familiar with The 5 Love Languages, they are as follows:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

According to Dr. Chapman, each of us falls into one of these categories–this is what we need from our spouse or significant other in order to feel loved–this is also most likely how we communicate our love.

In order for a lasting relationship to happen, we need to understand what language our partner needs, learn to speak it, and have our partner return the favor.

I scored a perfect 100% for my primary Love Language to be acts of service. I wasn’t at all surprised by this. I don’t need diamonds or fancy dinners out or lavish vacations (although those things are nice!). What I need is for my hubby to occasionally fold the laundry, run errands for me, bathe our children, etc. Thankfully my husband speaks my Love Language pretty well. 🙂

My husband’s primary Love Language is physical touch. I wasn’t surprised by this, either. He likes to hold hands, hug a lot, put his arm around me. And he needs me to respond to that.

So, how can this information be applied to characters in a romance?

Think about your heroine. Among all the other things you consider about her at creation, how will she respond best and feel most loved and cherished when your hero comes a-callin’? Will it be the moment when he repairs the roof of her house? Will it be his silver tongue, laced with words of love that wins her? Or how about when his lips meet hers? Will she respond best to a box from Tiffany’s to know that she’s loved, or maybe just a walk on a beach at sunset?

What does she need to feel loved?

When considering my heroine, I knew right away that her love language was words of affirmation. She needs to hear them–she needs to be valued verbally. The more Hero praises her, builds her up, encourages her, the more she falls for him. Yeah, she likes the kisses. She likes the time they spend together, but she needs those words.

What does my hero need to feel loved?  

For him it’s physical touch. He needs to feel her respond to him. He needs to know that when his fingers linger on her hand, sparks are flying. He needs her to want to be close to him.

Yeah, I can totally make that happen. 🙂

Let’s look at an example from pop culture. I give you the Love Languages of Bella and Edward.

It is possible for a person to have more than one love language. For Bella, I definitely think she’s a mixture of quality time and physical touch. I mean, for Pete’s sake, she nearly went nuts when Edward vanished in New Moon. In all the books, his proximity to her body is what she needs to feel like he loves her. The more he’s around, the more time they spend together, the more she feels loved. Yeah, this sounds like she’s needy, but it’s just her love language–it’s part of her makeup–what she needs to feel loved.

And Edward. His love language is words of affirmation. This should be glaringly obvious, I think. He needs to be told over and over and over and over and over that he’s not a horrible creature, that he’s not hurting Bella, that she truly does love him, that he’s a good person/vampire/humanesque creature. He needs to hear it–words that affirm.

Who agrees with my analysis of these two? 

Focusing a little attention on your characters and their love language helps develop not only the backstory (why does she need words of affirmation?) but also helps you to create the romance. 

Not every girl falls for the man who buys her fancy things. (Crazy, right?)

Not every guy needs to spend every waking moment with his girl to know that they are in love.

Develop your characters around this concept– that they each speak a Love Language, and you’ll develop a lasting romance.

Share with me: Can you think of characters in a novel that have easily identifiable Love Languages? What about your characters? Can you identify what Love Language they are speaking?

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August 10, 2011 · 5:00 am

Constructing the Perfect Man- Personality Potpourri

Okay, so last week for my Writer Wednesday post we discussed the construction of the “perfect man” based on physical characteristics.

I was surprised by two things: 
1. how many of you read the post but didn’t answer the questions. For those of you who did answer, I appreciate it so much and I loved your feedback! (Hey- it’s not too late to jump back to that post here and leave a response, ladies! I could use your input!)
2. The guys who so bravely left their comments. Way to go, fellas!

One of my theories on why some of you ladies may not have given your opinion on the last “Constructing the Perfect Man” post is that for some of you, looks don’t matter. So I expect to read a lot from you on this one. 🙂

So, we move on. Today I want to know what it is about a man’s personality that attracts you.

Do you like the funny-man? The brooder? The protector? The lover? The sensitive man? The care-giver? The perfectionist? The wanderer? The one who is outspoken? The strong, silent type?

I think we all like a combination of many traits.  But the personality traits that we love can be over-kill if given in large doses. For example, I can appreciate the man who is in tune with his emotions, but I don’t want a weepy dude who cries at the drop of a hat.

Once again, I’ll remind you that when we write romance, one of the things that is purposeful is creating a man that the reader can fall in love with. After all, if he’s going to get the girl and make all things good, the reader has to want that to happen.

Generally, romance readers like a man who is brave, strong, heroic, and eventually at some point in the book, passionate. But is this cliche?

Whether or not you like the Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer did a fantastic job of making Edward Cullen lovable. Just ask the millions of tweens, teens, and “Twi-Moms” out there who will tell you that E.C. stole their hearts. Why? It doesn’t have as much to do with him being written as physically attractive but more to do with the fact that he’s the ultimate protector. He’ll do anything to keep his girl safe. And that makes most girls swoon.

I know I’ve used Twilight as an example before, but it’s a well-selling series that has become not only a reading, but also cultural phenomenon.

So, I want you to think about your husband, significant other, favorite movie hero, book hero, etc., and tell me what it is about personalities of these men that makes them easy to love.

To help make this easier, I’ve listed my question below. Share your opinions. I’m interested to see what you find appealing.

Share with Me: What are the top 3 personality traits you find attractive in a man?

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August 3, 2011 · 5:00 am

Constructing the Perfect Man- Hey Good Lookin’

I was reading along on my Facebook feed the other day and noticed that a writer friend posted a question about romance books.  One of her friends replied to her post something like, “I don’t read romance because the guys in those books are never the kind I’d go for.”

And it got me thinking. In romance novels, there’s generally one kind of “hero.” He’s often (although not always, of course) tall, dark, and handsome, and in some way rugged, often a jack-of-all-trades, most often muscley, strong, loyal, and at least by the end, loving. He’s the perfect man.

Right? But maybe not. All women are different. All of us are attracted to different kinds of men– the bad-boy, the outdoorsy-type, the funny-man. All of us are attracted to different physical features as well.

And because I’m a writer, I’m always looking to please the reader and reach outside of that cookie-cutter hero to create a character who is attractive to a broader audience.

Now while we know that no man is perfect, we also all know that the “perfect man” is made up of a lot more than just looks.  There’s a lot more to creating a character that a reader can fall for, but I want to focus on one element at a time.

Reader-friends, writer-friends- I need your help.  I want your definition of the perfect man, one trait at a time.

Generally there is a formula that is followed for creating a hero-type, so we are going to break it down over the next few weeks. I want NEED your responses.

Today in Part 1 of this series of posts, let’s talk about physical features. I think we can all agree that in general, there’s a definition of what’s physically attractive. However, we are all attracted in different ways.

To prove the point, let’s talk for a sec about James Bond. While his “character” remains the same, I think that every lady out there is attracted to a different James Bond. For me, it’s Sean Connery all the way.  Possibly followed by Timothy Dalton, then Pierce Brosnan and so on. But Daniel Craig? Ew. I don’t find him attractive at all. And what about you? Which Bond do you find the most physically attractive?

Or if you need another example, let’s take the ever popular vampire.  Since vampires seem to be the “trendy” man to fall in love with, which vampire would you choose? Edward Cullen from Twilight? Stefan or Damon from The Vampire Diaries? Or how about Bill or Eric from True Blood? All of them are different physically, yet offer the same appeal.

What is the first physical feature you notice about a man? Eyes? Lips? Hands? Smile?

I find that my eye is generally attracted to men who fall into that “dark” category. Dark hair and eyes, and 90% of the time, I’ve noticed that the men I find handsome usually have a dimple in their chin. Weird, huh?

But what about you? When you are reading a romance novel or watching a movie or TV show, what kind of man do you find physically attractive? Are you in the tall, dark and handsome group, or the sandy-haired, tanned beach guy? Or how about a man with rough hands from working outside?

Share with me: Thinking physical features only (we’ll do personality, emotional, etc., later) what do you find attractive in a man? What is the first physical feature you tend to notice? Can you give me an example of someone (other than your spouse or significant other because that’s a given) that you find physically attractive and why?

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