Constructing the Perfect Man- Personality Potpourri

Okay, so last week for my Writer Wednesday post we discussed the construction of the “perfect man” based on physical characteristics.

I was surprised by two things: 
1. how many of you read the post but didn’t answer the questions. For those of you who did answer, I appreciate it so much and I loved your feedback! (Hey- it’s not too late to jump back to that post here and leave a response, ladies! I could use your input!)
2. The guys who so bravely left their comments. Way to go, fellas!

One of my theories on why some of you ladies may not have given your opinion on the last “Constructing the Perfect Man” post is that for some of you, looks don’t matter. So I expect to read a lot from you on this one. 🙂

So, we move on. Today I want to know what it is about a man’s personality that attracts you.

Do you like the funny-man? The brooder? The protector? The lover? The sensitive man? The care-giver? The perfectionist? The wanderer? The one who is outspoken? The strong, silent type?

I think we all like a combination of many traits.  But the personality traits that we love can be over-kill if given in large doses. For example, I can appreciate the man who is in tune with his emotions, but I don’t want a weepy dude who cries at the drop of a hat.

Once again, I’ll remind you that when we write romance, one of the things that is purposeful is creating a man that the reader can fall in love with. After all, if he’s going to get the girl and make all things good, the reader has to want that to happen.

Generally, romance readers like a man who is brave, strong, heroic, and eventually at some point in the book, passionate. But is this cliche?

Whether or not you like the Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer did a fantastic job of making Edward Cullen lovable. Just ask the millions of tweens, teens, and “Twi-Moms” out there who will tell you that E.C. stole their hearts. Why? It doesn’t have as much to do with him being written as physically attractive but more to do with the fact that he’s the ultimate protector. He’ll do anything to keep his girl safe. And that makes most girls swoon.

I know I’ve used Twilight as an example before, but it’s a well-selling series that has become not only a reading, but also cultural phenomenon.

So, I want you to think about your husband, significant other, favorite movie hero, book hero, etc., and tell me what it is about personalities of these men that makes them easy to love.

To help make this easier, I’ve listed my question below. Share your opinions. I’m interested to see what you find appealing.

Share with Me: What are the top 3 personality traits you find attractive in a man?

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “Constructing the Perfect Man- Personality Potpourri

  1. In books, I like my heroes to be:- leaders- confident – protectors (Hi Edward!)I also think broody is sexy (Hi Stefan!) Funny is good. Thoughtful and compassionate and of course….passionate.I don't think I can only pick three. 🙂

  2. One reason I really don't enjoy romance is because the men are so unrealistic. I recently read Tawna Fenske's new book MAKING WAVES and developed a new appreciation! As a stubborn and independent woman, I still want my man to be strong (But not power-lifter strong – ew.) I enjoy a man that can make me laugh.But my grandmother once told me something that rang so true. We don't love people because of their assets, we love them for their flaws. Assets are easy to fall in love with, but it's the oddities that suck us in.My husband is 6' 8" tall… and while he plays rock star on the weekends, he really is very humble. The church ladies nick named him the Gentle Giant. Those are the things I love about him!

  3. This is so hard to answer succinctly. I think that when it comes to literary heroes, I like a misleadingly distant guy…one with a tough exterior that the heroine comes to realize is a softie on the inside. Someone who is able (and willing) to look into the heroine to see who she truly is, and love her for that. (This is also the type of guy I wish for my daughters!) Once his oniony layers are all removed and we (the readers) see who HE truly is, I expect him to be empathetic, a protector, and to love kids and dogs. But humbly so-a little bit of a softie ninja. They're cliches for a reason…Mr. Darcy and Edward? Yes, please!

  4. "Assets are easy to fall in love with, but it's the oddities that suck us in." Yes! I love that!

  5. I like the funny guy. Not goofy, but witty. He can banter. He can keep up with (or even challenge) an intelligent heroine. He keeps his personal stuff close to the chest (liked Colleen's comment – the seemingly distant, softie on the inside).

  6. So sorry I'm just now reading these comments! Our internet has been down for 2 days…grrr. I've felt so disconnected– literally!Anyway, LOVE your comments, everyone! Excellent points. Great quote, Kim. And Colleen, love the softie-ninja. Perfect. 🙂

  7. My three favorite traits: I love a protector who is sensitive to his lady's needs and has a sense of humor. As attractive/intriguing as brooders can be (I'm thinking ER;s Luka Kovac), I don't want to live with one. Give me my open book of a hubby any day. Fun post!Joanna AislinnDream. Believe. Strive. Achieve!NO MATTER WHYThe Wild Rose Presswww.joannaaislinn.comwww.joannaaislinn.wordpress.com

  8. Joanna- great point. Brooders are fine in small doses, but living with one? Hmmm… that might result in the need for happy pills—for me. 🙂 Thanks for your input!

  9. I've imagined some pretty awesome guys and am married to one, but my favorite guy that I've written is Dev from my YA paranormal romance Altered. He's strong, but a total goofball. He's confident, but there are pieces of his personality he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with everyone. He's protective, but can handle taking a backseat when it comes to leading everyone to safety. Like what Kim said about flaws, I think it's balance. No guy is all of one thing. They all have their eccentricities, and we love them just as much for those small things they don't let everyone see as we do for their overall strength or protectiveness. I also think that, in romance novels, it's hard to love any male character that doesn't fit with the main female character. While Edward is really perfect for Bella, if you paired him with a super strong female, I think I'd find him annoying. I think he would smother her. So, yeah, I think it's really a balancing act.

  10. Kimberly- great point. Edward would never work with a strong female. There is definitely a balancing act of opposites and their attractions, just like in real life!

  11. I love a man who is not afraid to be a little goofy or sensitive but is still strong enough to be a protector when needed. 😀

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