Tag Archives: pregnancy

To Find Out or Not to Find Out– That Is the Question

It’s a mere three weeks or so until we get to find out our coming baby’s gender.

I’m super excited, especially because we’ve never found out ahead of time before.

That’s right– both of our boys were surprises.

Most people thought we were crazy– I remember when we told the ultrasound techs and the doctor that we didn’t want to know, they said, “Nobody does that anymore!”

But we did. And it was awesome.

When I was pregnant with my first I waffled a bit between finding out the gender or not, and a woman in the church choir gave me an excellent piece of advice. She said that both of her daughter’s-in-law were expecting at the same time and one found out the gender and one didn’t. The one that found out the gender was showered with clothes. The one that didn’t find out was showered with the practical baby needs she had registered for.

I knew we’d get clothes once the baby was born, but it was the baby “stuff” we desperately needed. So, that helped us in the decision not to find out. And we got a lot of great “stuff” that was a huge help to us.

Of course, everything I bought in preparation for both kids was yellow and green. But that was okay with me. I decorated the nursery in teddy bears, and I have to say, I thought it was precious.

I’m a planner, too, so it’s kind of weird that I was able to be so relaxed about not knowing the gender while I was pregnant.

But there’s something magical about that surprise. It’s one of the few genuine surprises left in life, so I wanted to take advantage of it up until the moment that little one entered the world and the doctor said, “It’s a ….!” Boy, in both cases.

There was nothing more exciting than introducing our little ones to our surprised and excited families.

But this time hubby and I are chomping at the bit to find out if Baby Hale #3 is a boy or a girl as soon as we can.

Is it because there’s a chance we’ll get a daughter? Sure. I think so.

But let me be clear– if God gives us another son, We. are. going. to. be. thrilled!

Boy, girl–it doesn’t matter to us a bit.

This time the planning matters. We have re-arranging of bedrooms to do. We have painting to do. We have some serious planning to do be it boy or girl.

So why do I feel like I’m cheating?

As the day of the ultrasound grows closer, I almost feel like I should just chill out and take advantage of this surprise while I can.

After all, it’s a really, really great surprise!

Share with me: Did you find out the gender of your unborn child(ren) or did you wait? Which do you think is more fun?


Filed under Family, Parenting

The Guilt of Being Pregnant

When I found out that I was pregnant with this new baby, I was in a state of disbelief for the first few days.

I just couldn’t believe that the fertility drugs had worked– in the first round.

Then I had a whole bunch of other emotions, the same ones other women feel when they find out they are pregnant: excitement, happiness, nervousness, thrill, and anticipation. I had ’em all.

And then came the strongest emotion of all– GUILT.

“How can you feel guilty?” you might ask.

Because infertility is an epidemic in this generation— one that affects more women than you realize. And for me personally, it has touched not only my life, but the lives of several women I know.

Many of them have been trying for a long, long time to get pregnant.

So I feel guilt. Guilt because it happened for me. Guilt because this is my third child and many of my friends don’t even have one– and they are desperate to have one.

Some of my friends have gone the route of adoption and are now waiting. Some of them are still going through fertility treatments. Some of them are just starting on this road of infertility, realizing that after two or three years of trying, they just can’t get pregnant without medical help.

And while I understand all of these issues and have been through many of them myself, I am blessed that God has answered this prayer for me.

But I don’t understand– why me and not them?

Please understand, readers, that I am thrilled beyond all measure that God has chosen to answer our prayer, and I pray for a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful, perfect little person to join our family. I can’t wait, actually. I’m giddy about it.

But I know exactly what it feels like when you’re trying to get pregnant and can’t, but it seems like everyone around you can.

What a punch in the gut it is.

I remember when a friend at church announced her pregnancy right when I was in the middle of our infertility struggle before our second child. I wanted to walk out of Sunday school that day. I wanted to punch her in the face. She already had a kid. In fact, she had just had a kid and now her second was on the way?? How was this fair?

And then another friend got pregnant. And another. And another. Until it seemed like everyone was pregnant. But not me.

At the time I thought, “why not me?”

I know that anger, frustration, and jealousy. None of it’s right, but knowing it’s not right to feel that way doesn’t stop the feelings from coming. They come. Like a raging typhoon, they come.

At that time, it was a real struggle for me to overcome those feelings. I had to overcome. If I didn’t, I risked letting those negative emotions overwhelm me.

What I eventually had to do was train myself– whenever I felt that anger or frustration, I would stop whatever I was doing and pray for those women who were pregnant. I’d pray for their healthy pregnancies and babies, and that they’d be godly parents and raise their children to follow the Lord. I’d pray even if I didn’t feel like praying.

Sometimes I prayed a little like this:

“God, I’m angry. I want to be pregnant. I don’t understand why I’m not or what your plan is, but God, I’m going to trust. So bless those other women and their babies. Bless them and give them the eyes to see just what a miracle they have.”

After a few weeks of doing this, my chest was a little lighter, my soul a little more relieved, my joy for others more abundant. I still fought those negative emotions, but the fight was a little easier. I was getting stronger.

And now I face the monster of guilt because God has answered my prayer but so many of my friends are still waiting.

But guilt isn’t right either. So I’m going to replace it.

Every time I feel guilty, it’s going to be a reminder to stop whatever I’m doing and pray specifically for those women I know who are struggling. I’m going to pray for them, encourage them, and do whatever I can to help them through this time.

Because I’ve been there. And it’s not a fun place to be.

Share with me: How can I pray for you this week?


Filed under Infertility

I’m Back with Some Big News! :)


Long time, no see, lovely readers!

My how I’ve missed you these weeks I’ve been away! While I’ve been really busy during this little hiatus from the bloggie, I’ve missed connecting with you here. A lot. So believe me when I say that I am SO excited to be back!

Lots of things have happened in the past weeks. My oldest started 1st grade, my youngest started K3, and I’ve been working like a maniac. We’re back to our school routine and looking forward to the cooler temps of fall.

I’ve finished up the history course I was writing for the university (Praise the Lord!) and I must say, that was an experience. Throughout it all I was reminded of how much I love history and how much I love teaching– and how much I do not love writing curriculum, especially for someone else to teach. But, I do love the history and I look forward to teaching it again someday.

With that coursework now behind me I can FINALLY get back to my writing!! I have had MAJOR writing withdrawals. But the forced time away from it has been really healthy, I think. I’ve been able to hash out some more details for my WIP and I’ve come up with a new series idea that I absolutely cannot wait to start on. I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait, actually– that’s how excited I am about it. More about that later.

On to the big news and some updates!

During my time away from you, readers, my family received some very exciting news.

I am expecting! Our third child will be joining us in late March. 

It’s still early in the pregnancy, so I ask for your prayers for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. We are thrilled with this news, of course. I’ll be sharing more about this in another post– this is another miracle as we wade through the waters of infertility, and gratefulness doesn’t even begin to describe my feeling. God is a miracle worker, friends.


Several weeks ago I shared with you about Rachael, the young girl from my church who is struggling with cancer. You can click on the link to read her story, but I wanted to update you on her current status. Rachael has undergone several rounds of chemo and has celebrated her 12th birthday! Last week she went in for a CT and was told that the tumor, while still massive and present, appears to be shrinking and in some places, appears to be dead. While we were all praying for the cancer to be gone from her body, this is the best news, other than a miracle.

Rachael will now undergo another round of chemo starting this week and then will have a very invasive, very big surgery to remove the tumor that is attached to several organs. Please pray for her, friends. Please pray for this sweet girl and her family. I know that Rachael wants to get back to the soccer field and back to school as soon as she possibly can. What a wild summer she’s had!


Now for some blog news– I will be back to my regular posting schedule from now on, with a few minor interruptions.

Mark your calendars for the week of September 17-21!!! My dear friend Lacie Nezbeth and I have planned a HUGE and FUN celebration that week that you are NOT going to want to miss. There will be tons of fun and TONS of GIVEAWAYS!! 

Hope you’ve all had a wonderful summer. Update me on how YOU are doing!!

Share with me: What’s been keeping you busy this summer? What news, praises, prayer requests do you have to share? Any great books you’ve read that I need to put on my to-be-read list?



Filed under Family, Just For Fun